Norway to St. Petersburg, but not the St. Pete where my Aunt Henrietta spent her golden years, the one where the czars used to live. It's planes, trains and automobiles to get there, with lots of bunching (sorry Howard).
Upon arrival the Detour is either classical music or classic cinema, and both involve such ridiculous sensory overload that it may actually constitute torture. More teams opt for the cacophony of the music challenge, which seems bizarre to me, but there is mucho switcherooing as they become frustrated. The whole thing is an exercise in frustration for many of them. This is kind of a boring challenge to watch but it is an evil-genius challenge to think up, as it strains their eyes, their ears, their brains and their patience. The MelonHeads and the WhoTubes emerge first.
The Roadblock is one of those challenges that on the surface pays tribute to a certain foreign lifestyle but in reality is mocking it. Dressing up like a babushka and planting potatoes while surrounded by real babushkas cheerleading in Russian is not compelling.
In the end the Formerly Firsts are first again, and he has new found respect for his beleaguered and non-college educated girlfriend because she can plant potatoes faster than anybody. The MelonHeads are second, and could it be that these two will be the first all-female team to win AR? Maybe. They show remarkable fortitude.
The WhoTubes are third, but they should've been second, except the son will never be able to listen to the dad because he thinks his dad is an idiot. And luckily for us, the Docs fall back to fourth. They will not be the first all-female team to win AR.
The Dumbs end up last, but they are kinder, gentler Dumbs because he did not blow his stack at her despite their inability to do the music challenge, the movie challenge and then finally back to the music challenge, where they eventually prevailed because she breathed in blue and breathed out pink. He said he "took a little Ghana" with him, and honestly, if doing this race makes this douche bag a nicer person, then I'm all for it. Bertram van Munster, changing the world one dysfunctional relationship at a time.
Luckily though Phil tells them it is non-elimination, making it the second one already, and they will have a Speed Bump in the next leg. These two won't win, that's for sure, but I have to say she is growing on me. I still don't have a clear favorite, this far along. How about you?
Showing posts with label The Amazing Race 17. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Amazing Race 17. Show all posts
Monday, November 1, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
The Amazing Race 17: In Which Phil's Eyebrows Learn A New Trick
That was the hottest thing I have ever seen in my life.
Phil's eyebrow, I mean. That lift. That height. That dexterity. That ability to count. Holy smokes. I love that man. I love the Kentuckys, also, and their ability to speak Eyebrow fluently. They knew they came in second and they loved it.
Last night was actually a pretty mediocre episode, if not for the Eyebrow Olympics. That, and did you see how excited Phil got when the blonde MelonHead suffered an eyebrow injury herself? She smacked herself in the head with the car door (done that, actually) and was bleeding pretty good at the mat. Phil was all giant toothy grin about that.
But other than that - the Docs did the fast forward (so sick of the vegetarians and their retching on this show) and came in a billion hours ahead of everyone else. (There will be airport bunching in their future.) The Kentuckys stayed in second. The VBalls were very predictably out (we don't fall for that editing anymore, BVM).
The scenery was gorgeous, however, and there were lots of laughs as they carried dead fish (and a chain saw?) up a steep hill, rode bikes over slippery rocks, rappelled off a bridge, etc. etc. The Dumbs got slightly dumber but at least Mrs. Dumb got to show up her douchebag boyfriend - twice.
What did you think?
Phil's eyebrow, I mean. That lift. That height. That dexterity. That ability to count. Holy smokes. I love that man. I love the Kentuckys, also, and their ability to speak Eyebrow fluently. They knew they came in second and they loved it.
Last night was actually a pretty mediocre episode, if not for the Eyebrow Olympics. That, and did you see how excited Phil got when the blonde MelonHead suffered an eyebrow injury herself? She smacked herself in the head with the car door (done that, actually) and was bleeding pretty good at the mat. Phil was all giant toothy grin about that.
But other than that - the Docs did the fast forward (so sick of the vegetarians and their retching on this show) and came in a billion hours ahead of everyone else. (There will be airport bunching in their future.) The Kentuckys stayed in second. The VBalls were very predictably out (we don't fall for that editing anymore, BVM).
The scenery was gorgeous, however, and there were lots of laughs as they carried dead fish (and a chain saw?) up a steep hill, rode bikes over slippery rocks, rappelled off a bridge, etc. etc. The Dumbs got slightly dumber but at least Mrs. Dumb got to show up her douchebag boyfriend - twice.
What did you think?
Monday, October 18, 2010
The Amazing Race 17: Ice, ice, baby
Ghana to Lapland, kids, that's what ol' Bertram had planned for the Racers last night, and for once the airport stuff actually mattered. Sure there was the bunch up because we were, after all, in Ghana, and it's not like there are 50 flights a day to Lapland. I don't think there are 50 flights a day period. But, if you were a smart racer, like the WhoTubes, you could get out of the bunch and regain your footing.
But first, our Racers spent the morning giving back in Ghana, painting and fixing up the school where they had done their challenges and spent the night. Very nice.
But then it was back to business, and everyone was flying to Lapland, 4,500 miles to the part of the world where lap dances were invented. It's true. I read it on the Internet.
So the WhoTubes, the Docs, the Kentuckys, and the Melons played it smart and got on a better flight in Germany and so had a 2-hour lead on everyone else when they landed. Once on the ground they had to find the Ice Hotel, except it was summer time so it was in cold storage. The Speedbump for the Whos involved sitting on ice chairs for 10 minutes. Really? Why even bother?
Then it was off the woods to race mush dogs on fur-covered vehicles, grabbing flags as they went and trading them in for pelts. Everyone had such a great time doing this challenge, it;s why we love the Race. Watching people do cool things that we will never do in a part of the world we will never see. Amazing. The Whos go from worst to first.
Meanwhile, back in the pack, Jill and Thomas are rapidly making the Dumbs look like they qualify to be on Big Bang Theory. Wow.
The Detour is called Sleds or Beds, and the teams can either race pell mell down a mountain on a little scooter thing, or build and furnish a tent that I believe is the first cousin to the yurt. The Whos choose the yurt because WhoDad is fragile. Everyone else opts for sleds. The Melons do it on the first try, while the Docs and Kentuckys take two tries.
Meanwhile, everyone else is making their way through the episode ... Jill and Thomas get worse and worse off. The Gleeks are stymied by the mountain, as are The Rings and the VBalls. They switch to the tent.
So we end up with the Docs in first, which proves that this is the most wild-card-y season of AR ever. Second is the Kentuckys, third is the Melons, the Whos are fourth.
Jill and Thomas use the Express Pass and come in fifth. Whoop-de-doo.
The Dumbs are sixth, the Rings are seventh and it is down to the VBalls and the Gleeks. A Clash of the Titans if ever there was one. The Gleeks are last, and it is their graduation day back at Princeton, so they throw their hats up in the air while harmonizing on Pomp and Circumstance and then sing a little "we're out" song. What did you think?
But first, our Racers spent the morning giving back in Ghana, painting and fixing up the school where they had done their challenges and spent the night. Very nice.
But then it was back to business, and everyone was flying to Lapland, 4,500 miles to the part of the world where lap dances were invented. It's true. I read it on the Internet.
So the WhoTubes, the Docs, the Kentuckys, and the Melons played it smart and got on a better flight in Germany and so had a 2-hour lead on everyone else when they landed. Once on the ground they had to find the Ice Hotel, except it was summer time so it was in cold storage. The Speedbump for the Whos involved sitting on ice chairs for 10 minutes. Really? Why even bother?
Then it was off the woods to race mush dogs on fur-covered vehicles, grabbing flags as they went and trading them in for pelts. Everyone had such a great time doing this challenge, it;s why we love the Race. Watching people do cool things that we will never do in a part of the world we will never see. Amazing. The Whos go from worst to first.
Meanwhile, back in the pack, Jill and Thomas are rapidly making the Dumbs look like they qualify to be on Big Bang Theory. Wow.
The Detour is called Sleds or Beds, and the teams can either race pell mell down a mountain on a little scooter thing, or build and furnish a tent that I believe is the first cousin to the yurt. The Whos choose the yurt because WhoDad is fragile. Everyone else opts for sleds. The Melons do it on the first try, while the Docs and Kentuckys take two tries.
Meanwhile, everyone else is making their way through the episode ... Jill and Thomas get worse and worse off. The Gleeks are stymied by the mountain, as are The Rings and the VBalls. They switch to the tent.
So we end up with the Docs in first, which proves that this is the most wild-card-y season of AR ever. Second is the Kentuckys, third is the Melons, the Whos are fourth.
Jill and Thomas use the Express Pass and come in fifth. Whoop-de-doo.
The Dumbs are sixth, the Rings are seventh and it is down to the VBalls and the Gleeks. A Clash of the Titans if ever there was one. The Gleeks are last, and it is their graduation day back at Princeton, so they throw their hats up in the air while harmonizing on Pomp and Circumstance and then sing a little "we're out" song. What did you think?
Monday, October 4, 2010
The Amazing Race 17: I'm just so proud I haven't soiled myself
Last night's episode of The Amazing Race was the kind in which the story lines are advanced, the racers are advanced, but we are left feeling, well, meh. Lots of taxi shenanigans, lots of sweaty brows, lots and lots of frustration but, well, watching someone try and hawk crappy sunglasses to the impoverished residents of an impoverished nation, and then watching someone install a TV antennae ("How about now?" "Now?" "How's it look now?") does not exactly make for compelling viewing.
We leave lush England and make our way to Accra, Ghana, where it is clearly hot as hell. Jill and Thomas, they of the Express Pass, have a five-minute lead over the anesthesiologists named Kat and Nat. Following close behind are the Gleeks, the MelonHeads and the VBalls. All of that is for naught, as there is only flight to Ghana and they are all on it.
Once in Ghana, they must find a park with lovely fountains. From there they must find the Makola Market, which is crazy busy. The Roadblock is for one team member to sell 15 cedi worth of sunglasses. The blond MelonHead is ecstatic, as she spends her life convincing housewives in Des Moines that they must have that all-in-one bag and those stretch stirrup pants. Piece. Of. Cake.
The father and son team (I am calling them the WhoTubes because they are apparently a YouTube sensation that I have never heard of) are second, as who can resist that dad, and the Gleeks are third. Everyone else struggles.
At the Detour - where I am chagrined to find Phil wearing a very unfortunate pair of pants - teams must choose Tune In or Check Out - TV antennae installation or crazy coffin delivery. Neither of these seem particularly daunting, albeit everyone is sweating their patooties off.
Once that is done they have to go to the Kaneshie Market, which makes that first market look like a preschool, and find Phil and his Bad Pants under a bridge. MelonHeads are first, VBalls WhoTubes, The Ring, and Jill and Thomas, now known as Formerly First.
This episode came down to bad taxi drivers and worse traffic. The Gleeks, the Docs, Dumb and Dumber and The Miss Kentuckys were all neck and neck in their taxis, and the Docs urged their suicidal cab driver to pretty much create his own lane and get them to the mat. This inspired the Gleeks to do the same, until they were almost killed, prompting the taller of the two to a) ask for his mommy and b) say "I'm just so proud that I haven't soiled myself." To which the shorter one replied, "I think I might've."
So it's the Gleeks, the Docs, the Dumbs, the Kentuckians, and last but not least (but definitely eliminated) were the BioMoms. I have to admit I teared up during their last little interview, because really, who can even imagine all that pent up emotion and regret and lost love ... but still ... not exactly a dynamo those two.
Next week, we remain in Africa, where it's going to get even hotter. What did you think?
We leave lush England and make our way to Accra, Ghana, where it is clearly hot as hell. Jill and Thomas, they of the Express Pass, have a five-minute lead over the anesthesiologists named Kat and Nat. Following close behind are the Gleeks, the MelonHeads and the VBalls. All of that is for naught, as there is only flight to Ghana and they are all on it.
Once in Ghana, they must find a park with lovely fountains. From there they must find the Makola Market, which is crazy busy. The Roadblock is for one team member to sell 15 cedi worth of sunglasses. The blond MelonHead is ecstatic, as she spends her life convincing housewives in Des Moines that they must have that all-in-one bag and those stretch stirrup pants. Piece. Of. Cake.
The father and son team (I am calling them the WhoTubes because they are apparently a YouTube sensation that I have never heard of) are second, as who can resist that dad, and the Gleeks are third. Everyone else struggles.
At the Detour - where I am chagrined to find Phil wearing a very unfortunate pair of pants - teams must choose Tune In or Check Out - TV antennae installation or crazy coffin delivery. Neither of these seem particularly daunting, albeit everyone is sweating their patooties off.
Once that is done they have to go to the Kaneshie Market, which makes that first market look like a preschool, and find Phil and his Bad Pants under a bridge. MelonHeads are first, VBalls WhoTubes, The Ring, and Jill and Thomas, now known as Formerly First.
This episode came down to bad taxi drivers and worse traffic. The Gleeks, the Docs, Dumb and Dumber and The Miss Kentuckys were all neck and neck in their taxis, and the Docs urged their suicidal cab driver to pretty much create his own lane and get them to the mat. This inspired the Gleeks to do the same, until they were almost killed, prompting the taller of the two to a) ask for his mommy and b) say "I'm just so proud that I haven't soiled myself." To which the shorter one replied, "I think I might've."
So it's the Gleeks, the Docs, the Dumbs, the Kentuckians, and last but not least (but definitely eliminated) were the BioMoms. I have to admit I teared up during their last little interview, because really, who can even imagine all that pent up emotion and regret and lost love ... but still ... not exactly a dynamo those two.
Next week, we remain in Africa, where it's going to get even hotter. What did you think?
Monday, September 27, 2010
Amazing Race 17: Storming the Castle
The 17th season of The Amazing Race started in Gloucester, Mass., and through the magic of television and the power of Phil Keoghan, it did not look like the Gloucester I know. I have good friends who live there and I don't recall it looking that, well, lush. But good for them. And the lobstermen who ferried the 11 teams in for the start.
Phil launches the season with an arched brow and the unveiling of the Express Pass, a little piece of paper that gives a team the chance to skip a task entirely. It could, Phil tells us, be the difference between going home and staying in. Which seems obvious to me but still. I'm thinking based on 16 seasons of watching this show that a piece of paper that allowed you to change your horrible cab driver into the world's greatest cab driver would be more valuable since that more often makes a difference in who finishes where.
The teams are: Brooke and Claire, shopping channel hostesses who shall be known as Melon Heads because of what happens to poor Claire in the English countryside; Chad and Stephanie, known as The Ring because he plans to propose to her during the race; Rachel and Katie, beach volleyball players form New Jersey, which somehow makes them less hot; Jonathan and Connor, Ivy League (Princeton?) a capella singers; Nat and Kat, surgeons and one diabetic; Michael and Kevin, an Asian-American father-son team who are apparently a YouTube sensation; Nick and Vicki, all tatted up and heretofore known as Dumb and Dumber ("Ah, yes," Phil says, "the country of London."); Ron and Tony, who I would call Biggie Smalls because of the difference in their sizes, but that seems wrong; Jill and Thomas, boyfriend and girlfriend; father and daughter Gary and Mallory, and she's Miss Kentucky and wakes up every day with a song in her heart; and Andie and Jenna, biological mom and daughter who have never met before.
The opening is sort of slow, as everyone has to get to Logan (not easy, we New Englanders know) and then from London to Stonehenge, in clown cars. From there we have one of those "clues" that they have to decipher and they must find their way to Eastnor Castle, a ways away.
And here many teams completely fall apart, because apparently they can't read road signs in English. This does not bode well for the rest of the race, when they are in places where English is a Ninth Language.
So at the castle they scale the wall while toothless Brits pour dirty water on them, and then "sail" across the moat in upside-down turtle shells, and then hurl watermelons at knight suits (and where Claire nearly decapitates herself with a back-shooting watermelon and then, because Brooke tells her to, finishes the task even though she has gone numb from the neck up) and then find Phil hanging in the woods with Robin and the boys.
Jill and Thomas are first, and they get the Express Pass, and then lots of others come in (my favorite part was when Dad and Son and Dad and Daughter came in together) and then, way, way, way, way, last are Ron and Tony and by week 3 we won't even remember they were here.
Next week we head to Ghana. I'm guessing the road signs are going to be more confusing than in England. How about you?
Phil launches the season with an arched brow and the unveiling of the Express Pass, a little piece of paper that gives a team the chance to skip a task entirely. It could, Phil tells us, be the difference between going home and staying in. Which seems obvious to me but still. I'm thinking based on 16 seasons of watching this show that a piece of paper that allowed you to change your horrible cab driver into the world's greatest cab driver would be more valuable since that more often makes a difference in who finishes where.
The teams are: Brooke and Claire, shopping channel hostesses who shall be known as Melon Heads because of what happens to poor Claire in the English countryside; Chad and Stephanie, known as The Ring because he plans to propose to her during the race; Rachel and Katie, beach volleyball players form New Jersey, which somehow makes them less hot; Jonathan and Connor, Ivy League (Princeton?) a capella singers; Nat and Kat, surgeons and one diabetic; Michael and Kevin, an Asian-American father-son team who are apparently a YouTube sensation; Nick and Vicki, all tatted up and heretofore known as Dumb and Dumber ("Ah, yes," Phil says, "the country of London."); Ron and Tony, who I would call Biggie Smalls because of the difference in their sizes, but that seems wrong; Jill and Thomas, boyfriend and girlfriend; father and daughter Gary and Mallory, and she's Miss Kentucky and wakes up every day with a song in her heart; and Andie and Jenna, biological mom and daughter who have never met before.
The opening is sort of slow, as everyone has to get to Logan (not easy, we New Englanders know) and then from London to Stonehenge, in clown cars. From there we have one of those "clues" that they have to decipher and they must find their way to Eastnor Castle, a ways away.
And here many teams completely fall apart, because apparently they can't read road signs in English. This does not bode well for the rest of the race, when they are in places where English is a Ninth Language.
So at the castle they scale the wall while toothless Brits pour dirty water on them, and then "sail" across the moat in upside-down turtle shells, and then hurl watermelons at knight suits (and where Claire nearly decapitates herself with a back-shooting watermelon and then, because Brooke tells her to, finishes the task even though she has gone numb from the neck up) and then find Phil hanging in the woods with Robin and the boys.
Jill and Thomas are first, and they get the Express Pass, and then lots of others come in (my favorite part was when Dad and Son and Dad and Daughter came in together) and then, way, way, way, way, last are Ron and Tony and by week 3 we won't even remember they were here.
Next week we head to Ghana. I'm guessing the road signs are going to be more confusing than in England. How about you?
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