There was no dramatic tension in last night's penultimate episode, since we knew the Dumbs were never going to catch up. In the news biz, we call them a non-story.
So with the final three determined right from the opening shot of the show, it simply became a question of who would be first?
We went from Hong Kong to South Korea, and who other than me got so tired of all the verbal flogging of the "danger" of being near North Korea? Jeepers, folks. I'm pretty sure that six Americans plus their camera crews did not put Kim Jong-il on high alert. Talk about fake drama.
So they get there, and they raft down the river and then take a Humvee drive to the Army base and then have to find the matching headband among 200 very fit soldiers and the the World Cup Stadium, and then speed skating (except not) and then Phil!
The Melons are first but they have a penalty because they took a taxi, so the Firsts are first, the Melons are second and the Docs are third. So there is a very real chance that an all-female team will win AR for the first time in 17 seasons. Which, in our little corner of the world, is kind of a big deal. Not as big a deal as the tensions between South and North Korea, but still ...
Monday, December 6, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
The Amazing Race 17: Vicki's Terrible, Horrible, Really Bad Day
There have been, in the annals of AR history, some truly terrible men. There was the King of All Bad Guys, Jonathan, who was so abusive to his anorexic wife Victoria that Phil almost had to take him out on a mat. There was Colin, who screamed across a field to his girlfriend that he hated her guts, and then later claimed he was talking to a cow. And there was Freddy, who was a stupid jerk but was out-badded by his dim bulb girlfriend.
And after last night's episode, Nick AKA the male half of The Dumbs, gets to join those ranks.
I mean, Nick has never been a likable guy in this race. In Africa he had several hissy fits. Plus, any guy who criticizes his girlfriend for having an asthma attack probably deserves coal in his stocking on an annual basis. But last night, during the leg in Hong Kong, Nick really proved himself a True Douche Bag.
Our top four find themselves making their way from Bangladesh to Hong Kong, riding buses and ferries as they gather up their clues, and it is right from the start that The Dumbs begin to fall apart. As they are racing for the ferry, Vicki has an asthma attack and cannot run. Hence they miss the boat, and are a half hour behind everyone else. Nick berates her endlessly. He is stupid, but he knows which words to choose, and she cries.
The other three teams are pretty close throughout, and they get to the first challenge, which is really genius. Of course there is karaoke, but there is also boatloads of sushi and awesome fake food. You know those plastic desserts that restaurants use in their display cases? Hong Kong makes those. The challenge is to find the one piece of fake food among all the real food. And if it's real and you've touched it, then you've got to eat it.
So Thomas does it, and one of the Docs, and then the brunette half of the MelonHeads, who really needs to get the Good Sportsmanship Award at this point. So they eat and eat and eat and poke and poke and poke and the Docs are the first done, and then Thomas, and still the Melon is eating. And eating. And eating. And then she pukes. Gallons. But, as Claire points out, she has to soldier on. Claire is really good at getting people to do things they don't want to do. I cannot imagine how many ceramic garden gnomes she has sold on the shopping channel. Because when she tells you to do something, it just makes sense. "Keep puking," she tells her buddy.
Of course, as soon as Brook vomits, she finds the fake food and off they go. Vickie also struggles with this, and vomits, and Nick wants to quit. Vickie refuses, finds the fake food, and they are back in it, but you can see from Nick's body language that he has cashed it in.
Meanwhile, the next challenge is Sampan or Ding Ding. The Firsts choose Ding Ding in which they must spot three signs amid the 1,000,000 on a street. Impossible and they quit. Sampan involves taking two parakeets out into the harbor and finding a boat with a matching number. In the dark. Amidst hundreds of them. Needle, meet haystack.
But it is not insurmountable, and the Docs end up first, the Firsts end up second, and the Melons are third. A far, far, far distant fourth are the Dumbs. She wanted to keep trying he gave up. So they decide to take the 6 hour penalty for not finishing, and when they arrive, Phil tells them that it is a non-elimination round. So, they are hours and hours behind the other teams. Then they have the 6 hour penalty plus the Speed Bump.
I don't like the episodes of AR when the Monster Men rear their ugly heads. This was one of them.
And after last night's episode, Nick AKA the male half of The Dumbs, gets to join those ranks.
I mean, Nick has never been a likable guy in this race. In Africa he had several hissy fits. Plus, any guy who criticizes his girlfriend for having an asthma attack probably deserves coal in his stocking on an annual basis. But last night, during the leg in Hong Kong, Nick really proved himself a True Douche Bag.
Our top four find themselves making their way from Bangladesh to Hong Kong, riding buses and ferries as they gather up their clues, and it is right from the start that The Dumbs begin to fall apart. As they are racing for the ferry, Vicki has an asthma attack and cannot run. Hence they miss the boat, and are a half hour behind everyone else. Nick berates her endlessly. He is stupid, but he knows which words to choose, and she cries.
The other three teams are pretty close throughout, and they get to the first challenge, which is really genius. Of course there is karaoke, but there is also boatloads of sushi and awesome fake food. You know those plastic desserts that restaurants use in their display cases? Hong Kong makes those. The challenge is to find the one piece of fake food among all the real food. And if it's real and you've touched it, then you've got to eat it.
So Thomas does it, and one of the Docs, and then the brunette half of the MelonHeads, who really needs to get the Good Sportsmanship Award at this point. So they eat and eat and eat and poke and poke and poke and the Docs are the first done, and then Thomas, and still the Melon is eating. And eating. And eating. And then she pukes. Gallons. But, as Claire points out, she has to soldier on. Claire is really good at getting people to do things they don't want to do. I cannot imagine how many ceramic garden gnomes she has sold on the shopping channel. Because when she tells you to do something, it just makes sense. "Keep puking," she tells her buddy.
Of course, as soon as Brook vomits, she finds the fake food and off they go. Vickie also struggles with this, and vomits, and Nick wants to quit. Vickie refuses, finds the fake food, and they are back in it, but you can see from Nick's body language that he has cashed it in.
Meanwhile, the next challenge is Sampan or Ding Ding. The Firsts choose Ding Ding in which they must spot three signs amid the 1,000,000 on a street. Impossible and they quit. Sampan involves taking two parakeets out into the harbor and finding a boat with a matching number. In the dark. Amidst hundreds of them. Needle, meet haystack.
But it is not insurmountable, and the Docs end up first, the Firsts end up second, and the Melons are third. A far, far, far distant fourth are the Dumbs. She wanted to keep trying he gave up. So they decide to take the 6 hour penalty for not finishing, and when they arrive, Phil tells them that it is a non-elimination round. So, they are hours and hours behind the other teams. Then they have the 6 hour penalty plus the Speed Bump.
I don't like the episodes of AR when the Monster Men rear their ugly heads. This was one of them.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Dancing with the Stars: Does perfection matter?
Just for the record, I voted five times for Kyle Massey on Dancing with the Stars: just now. That's right. Cast my five ballots at 6:13 a.m. Why, you ask? Because last night I could not get through on the phone lines and the website did not work. Can you say right wing conspiracy?
Of course I kid. About the conspiracy, I mean. Sort of.
But it's been that kind of season on DWTS, with the Hoff and Michael Bolton starting things off with massive public humiliation, Bristol Palin turning into Taylor Hicks about halfway through, Brandy getting the biggest comeuppance of her comeback, and a B-list Disney tween star named Kyle becoming a national hero.
Or maybe it's Jennifer Grey's transformation into someone who actually likes being in the spotlight. I don't know. All I know is, this is crazy. Like Melanie Griffith in the house-level crazy.
Two dances last night: the Redemption dance chosen by the judges and then the awesome freestyle. Tonight they will each do two more dances, judges scores only, and then we get the winner.
Kyle and Lacey open with the foxtrot, which last time around was an ill-advised disco number and this time is lovely and conventional. Kyle is terrific. The video package in which he foxtrots with Len is classic. Len looks good on the dance floor. They get a 27.
Then Bristol and Mark will redo their gorilla jive, and I am so distracted by the shoes she is wearing that I almost forget to watch. The judges swoon. 27.
Jennifer and Derek get the paso doble, which, if you recall, was the low point for Baby this season. This time it is all about control. Derek is much a man-child sometimes I can't stand it. I want to kiss him and rock him to sleep all at the same time. The judges go crazy - another 30! - and little old Joel Grey is beside himself in the audience.
Now for the freestyle. Lacey has thought of every trick in the book. They are doing it to Tootsie Roll, which is course makes perfect sense when you think about it. I'm just saying that. It is, however, ridiculous and hilarious and awesome and they get a 29 and I am smiling.
Mark chooses that Catherine Zeta-Jones number form Chicago. I guess there are no DVD players in Alaska because Bristol has never heard of Chicago, never seen Chicago, has no idea. Hell, even I have seen Chicago. My friend Kathleen and I ate and entire apple pie while watching it in my family room.
Bristol is dancing in a cage and then all over the place and the Carrie Ann says "cage" like 40 times and they give them a 25.
Then Jennifer (let's not forget she had neck surgery/tumor/etc) and Derek do the dirty dancing number form Dirty Dancing (let's not forget that Patrick Swayze died) and it's OK, I definitely think Kyle's is better, but the judges give them another 30.
So the question becomes: How will America's votes add together with tonight's judging scores? Will Bristol win, becoming the person who perhaps needed it the most but deserved it the least? Will Jennifer win, becoming the first woman of a certain age to do so? Or will Kyle take the disco ball, becoming the John O'Hurley of the competition?
I have no idea.
Of course I kid. About the conspiracy, I mean. Sort of.
But it's been that kind of season on DWTS, with the Hoff and Michael Bolton starting things off with massive public humiliation, Bristol Palin turning into Taylor Hicks about halfway through, Brandy getting the biggest comeuppance of her comeback, and a B-list Disney tween star named Kyle becoming a national hero.
Or maybe it's Jennifer Grey's transformation into someone who actually likes being in the spotlight. I don't know. All I know is, this is crazy. Like Melanie Griffith in the house-level crazy.
Two dances last night: the Redemption dance chosen by the judges and then the awesome freestyle. Tonight they will each do two more dances, judges scores only, and then we get the winner.
Kyle and Lacey open with the foxtrot, which last time around was an ill-advised disco number and this time is lovely and conventional. Kyle is terrific. The video package in which he foxtrots with Len is classic. Len looks good on the dance floor. They get a 27.
Then Bristol and Mark will redo their gorilla jive, and I am so distracted by the shoes she is wearing that I almost forget to watch. The judges swoon. 27.
Jennifer and Derek get the paso doble, which, if you recall, was the low point for Baby this season. This time it is all about control. Derek is much a man-child sometimes I can't stand it. I want to kiss him and rock him to sleep all at the same time. The judges go crazy - another 30! - and little old Joel Grey is beside himself in the audience.
Now for the freestyle. Lacey has thought of every trick in the book. They are doing it to Tootsie Roll, which is course makes perfect sense when you think about it. I'm just saying that. It is, however, ridiculous and hilarious and awesome and they get a 29 and I am smiling.
Mark chooses that Catherine Zeta-Jones number form Chicago. I guess there are no DVD players in Alaska because Bristol has never heard of Chicago, never seen Chicago, has no idea. Hell, even I have seen Chicago. My friend Kathleen and I ate and entire apple pie while watching it in my family room.
Bristol is dancing in a cage and then all over the place and the Carrie Ann says "cage" like 40 times and they give them a 25.
Then Jennifer (let's not forget she had neck surgery/tumor/etc) and Derek do the dirty dancing number form Dirty Dancing (let's not forget that Patrick Swayze died) and it's OK, I definitely think Kyle's is better, but the judges give them another 30.
So the question becomes: How will America's votes add together with tonight's judging scores? Will Bristol win, becoming the person who perhaps needed it the most but deserved it the least? Will Jennifer win, becoming the first woman of a certain age to do so? Or will Kyle take the disco ball, becoming the John O'Hurley of the competition?
I have no idea.
Monday, November 22, 2010
The Amazing Race 17: Is It Hot In Here?
So we go from the dry heat of Oman to the sopping wet hot stench of Bangladesh. This was a brutal leg of the race, even by brutal leg standards. A DOUBLE U-Turn! Oh, Bertram, you evil genius.
So there are a lot of airport shenanigans at the start and for once they all mean something. The Docs are so far behind everyone else (almost five hours) that they simply hop a plane to Dubai and they will figure it all out from there. Everyone else thinks they are on the same plane that will land in Bangladesh at noon, so newly engaged and glowing Rings head off for burgers and shakes. But The Firsts hang in there and lo and behold, their counter guy finds them a better flight! Even better, they get the last two seats!
The Dumbs and the MelonHeads also stick around, and the Dumbs land a better flight but the Melons lose out, and are stuck on the Noon Flight To Last Place with the now full (but screwed) Rings. All of this to some degree sets up the rest of the episode in terms of Double U-Turning, etc.
Once in Bangladesh they must find yet another fetid open-air market (this year's favorite place), make some juice, drink the juice, and then do the Detour. Choices are: bring 30 tins of snacks out to a boat or carry 100 bricks on your head. My 9-year-old and I assume everyone will do the food one, but no! The Firsts opt for the bricks and they bang out that sucker. Even Stick-Armed Never Went To College Girl.
The Firsts are so far ahead of everyone it is like they are in their own show. They wisely opt to U-Turn the Melons, and then move on to the Roadblock, in which the girl must build a rickshaw. Again, she bangs it out and off they go to Phil. And he gives them 15 THOUSAND DOLLARS. It's why we call it amazing, kids.
Meanwhile, back with everyone else, they all drink their juice and they all opt for the meal delivery. The Dumbs are next to the U-Turn board, but Dumb Girl goes all Zen and they don't hit anyone. When the Docs get there, they only have one choice to U-Turn and they do it: The Rings.
This is where the race gets really grueling and I think no one was exaggerating when they said they were going to pass out or throw up or could not feel their "extremities" (LOL). But the Rings and the Melons soldiered through, and in the end, the Melons eked it out and the Rings went home, engaged to be married but still technically losers.
This might be it, friends. This might be the season that an all-female team wins Amazing Race. I'm rooting for the MelonHeads.
So there are a lot of airport shenanigans at the start and for once they all mean something. The Docs are so far behind everyone else (almost five hours) that they simply hop a plane to Dubai and they will figure it all out from there. Everyone else thinks they are on the same plane that will land in Bangladesh at noon, so newly engaged and glowing Rings head off for burgers and shakes. But The Firsts hang in there and lo and behold, their counter guy finds them a better flight! Even better, they get the last two seats!
The Dumbs and the MelonHeads also stick around, and the Dumbs land a better flight but the Melons lose out, and are stuck on the Noon Flight To Last Place with the now full (but screwed) Rings. All of this to some degree sets up the rest of the episode in terms of Double U-Turning, etc.
Once in Bangladesh they must find yet another fetid open-air market (this year's favorite place), make some juice, drink the juice, and then do the Detour. Choices are: bring 30 tins of snacks out to a boat or carry 100 bricks on your head. My 9-year-old and I assume everyone will do the food one, but no! The Firsts opt for the bricks and they bang out that sucker. Even Stick-Armed Never Went To College Girl.
The Firsts are so far ahead of everyone it is like they are in their own show. They wisely opt to U-Turn the Melons, and then move on to the Roadblock, in which the girl must build a rickshaw. Again, she bangs it out and off they go to Phil. And he gives them 15 THOUSAND DOLLARS. It's why we call it amazing, kids.
Meanwhile, back with everyone else, they all drink their juice and they all opt for the meal delivery. The Dumbs are next to the U-Turn board, but Dumb Girl goes all Zen and they don't hit anyone. When the Docs get there, they only have one choice to U-Turn and they do it: The Rings.
This is where the race gets really grueling and I think no one was exaggerating when they said they were going to pass out or throw up or could not feel their "extremities" (LOL). But the Rings and the Melons soldiered through, and in the end, the Melons eked it out and the Rings went home, engaged to be married but still technically losers.
This might be it, friends. This might be the season that an all-female team wins Amazing Race. I'm rooting for the MelonHeads.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Dancing with the Stars: The Power of the Palin
Wow.
Holy smokes.
Really?
Wow.
The only person on the planet more in shock than Bristol Palin last night on the ouster episode of Dancing with the Stars was Brandy. Girlfriend was In. Shock. It would've been funny if it hadn't been so, well, shocking.
What is going on here? Why is Bristol Palin, clearly the least proficient of the last six celebrities on this season of Dancing with the Stars, in the final? The final! Not Rick Fox. Not Kurt Warner. Not Brandy. Bristol Palin.
Now, we could armchair analyze all this, trying to figure out if it is a right wing conspiracy, an Alaska conspiracy, an anti-Obama movement, whatever. I say why bother? She's the Taylor Hicks of Dancing with the Stars. Move on.
Let's focus instead on who I hope becomes the winner of this crazy mixed up Season 11. His name is Kyle Massey, and he is a roly-poly adorable and hilarious bundle of extended arms and pointed toes. I love this kid, and I love his partnership with the coarse and unrefined Lacey Schwimmer and I am really, really hoping that he takes that disco ball. It would be a big win for the Unskinny.
As a woman of a certain age I suppose I should be rooting for Jennifer Grey, and honestly, I am glad to see her do this well (and how adorable is her husband?) but I want Kyle to win it.
As for Bristol, I'm glad for her that she has had this opportunity to succeed in what I think is a life that has so far not had much success. I'm glad that this has given her some confidence in herself (which was clearly lacking). But I'm not so glad for her that I want her to prevail. Because if you take away all the back story and all the politics and all the whatever-the-hell-is-happening here, she does not deserve to be where she is.
What did you think of last night's shocking ouster? And how great is Annie Lennox?
Holy smokes.
Really?
Wow.
The only person on the planet more in shock than Bristol Palin last night on the ouster episode of Dancing with the Stars was Brandy. Girlfriend was In. Shock. It would've been funny if it hadn't been so, well, shocking.
What is going on here? Why is Bristol Palin, clearly the least proficient of the last six celebrities on this season of Dancing with the Stars, in the final? The final! Not Rick Fox. Not Kurt Warner. Not Brandy. Bristol Palin.
Now, we could armchair analyze all this, trying to figure out if it is a right wing conspiracy, an Alaska conspiracy, an anti-Obama movement, whatever. I say why bother? She's the Taylor Hicks of Dancing with the Stars. Move on.
Let's focus instead on who I hope becomes the winner of this crazy mixed up Season 11. His name is Kyle Massey, and he is a roly-poly adorable and hilarious bundle of extended arms and pointed toes. I love this kid, and I love his partnership with the coarse and unrefined Lacey Schwimmer and I am really, really hoping that he takes that disco ball. It would be a big win for the Unskinny.
As a woman of a certain age I suppose I should be rooting for Jennifer Grey, and honestly, I am glad to see her do this well (and how adorable is her husband?) but I want Kyle to win it.
As for Bristol, I'm glad for her that she has had this opportunity to succeed in what I think is a life that has so far not had much success. I'm glad that this has given her some confidence in herself (which was clearly lacking). But I'm not so glad for her that I want her to prevail. Because if you take away all the back story and all the politics and all the whatever-the-hell-is-happening here, she does not deserve to be where she is.
What did you think of last night's shocking ouster? And how great is Annie Lennox?
Monday, November 1, 2010
The Amazing Race 17: Sensory Overload
Norway to St. Petersburg, but not the St. Pete where my Aunt Henrietta spent her golden years, the one where the czars used to live. It's planes, trains and automobiles to get there, with lots of bunching (sorry Howard).
Upon arrival the Detour is either classical music or classic cinema, and both involve such ridiculous sensory overload that it may actually constitute torture. More teams opt for the cacophony of the music challenge, which seems bizarre to me, but there is mucho switcherooing as they become frustrated. The whole thing is an exercise in frustration for many of them. This is kind of a boring challenge to watch but it is an evil-genius challenge to think up, as it strains their eyes, their ears, their brains and their patience. The MelonHeads and the WhoTubes emerge first.
The Roadblock is one of those challenges that on the surface pays tribute to a certain foreign lifestyle but in reality is mocking it. Dressing up like a babushka and planting potatoes while surrounded by real babushkas cheerleading in Russian is not compelling.
In the end the Formerly Firsts are first again, and he has new found respect for his beleaguered and non-college educated girlfriend because she can plant potatoes faster than anybody. The MelonHeads are second, and could it be that these two will be the first all-female team to win AR? Maybe. They show remarkable fortitude.
The WhoTubes are third, but they should've been second, except the son will never be able to listen to the dad because he thinks his dad is an idiot. And luckily for us, the Docs fall back to fourth. They will not be the first all-female team to win AR.
The Dumbs end up last, but they are kinder, gentler Dumbs because he did not blow his stack at her despite their inability to do the music challenge, the movie challenge and then finally back to the music challenge, where they eventually prevailed because she breathed in blue and breathed out pink. He said he "took a little Ghana" with him, and honestly, if doing this race makes this douche bag a nicer person, then I'm all for it. Bertram van Munster, changing the world one dysfunctional relationship at a time.
Luckily though Phil tells them it is non-elimination, making it the second one already, and they will have a Speed Bump in the next leg. These two won't win, that's for sure, but I have to say she is growing on me. I still don't have a clear favorite, this far along. How about you?
Upon arrival the Detour is either classical music or classic cinema, and both involve such ridiculous sensory overload that it may actually constitute torture. More teams opt for the cacophony of the music challenge, which seems bizarre to me, but there is mucho switcherooing as they become frustrated. The whole thing is an exercise in frustration for many of them. This is kind of a boring challenge to watch but it is an evil-genius challenge to think up, as it strains their eyes, their ears, their brains and their patience. The MelonHeads and the WhoTubes emerge first.
The Roadblock is one of those challenges that on the surface pays tribute to a certain foreign lifestyle but in reality is mocking it. Dressing up like a babushka and planting potatoes while surrounded by real babushkas cheerleading in Russian is not compelling.
In the end the Formerly Firsts are first again, and he has new found respect for his beleaguered and non-college educated girlfriend because she can plant potatoes faster than anybody. The MelonHeads are second, and could it be that these two will be the first all-female team to win AR? Maybe. They show remarkable fortitude.
The WhoTubes are third, but they should've been second, except the son will never be able to listen to the dad because he thinks his dad is an idiot. And luckily for us, the Docs fall back to fourth. They will not be the first all-female team to win AR.
The Dumbs end up last, but they are kinder, gentler Dumbs because he did not blow his stack at her despite their inability to do the music challenge, the movie challenge and then finally back to the music challenge, where they eventually prevailed because she breathed in blue and breathed out pink. He said he "took a little Ghana" with him, and honestly, if doing this race makes this douche bag a nicer person, then I'm all for it. Bertram van Munster, changing the world one dysfunctional relationship at a time.
Luckily though Phil tells them it is non-elimination, making it the second one already, and they will have a Speed Bump in the next leg. These two won't win, that's for sure, but I have to say she is growing on me. I still don't have a clear favorite, this far along. How about you?
Monday, October 25, 2010
The Amazing Race 17: In Which Phil's Eyebrows Learn A New Trick
That was the hottest thing I have ever seen in my life.
Phil's eyebrow, I mean. That lift. That height. That dexterity. That ability to count. Holy smokes. I love that man. I love the Kentuckys, also, and their ability to speak Eyebrow fluently. They knew they came in second and they loved it.
Last night was actually a pretty mediocre episode, if not for the Eyebrow Olympics. That, and did you see how excited Phil got when the blonde MelonHead suffered an eyebrow injury herself? She smacked herself in the head with the car door (done that, actually) and was bleeding pretty good at the mat. Phil was all giant toothy grin about that.
But other than that - the Docs did the fast forward (so sick of the vegetarians and their retching on this show) and came in a billion hours ahead of everyone else. (There will be airport bunching in their future.) The Kentuckys stayed in second. The VBalls were very predictably out (we don't fall for that editing anymore, BVM).
The scenery was gorgeous, however, and there were lots of laughs as they carried dead fish (and a chain saw?) up a steep hill, rode bikes over slippery rocks, rappelled off a bridge, etc. etc. The Dumbs got slightly dumber but at least Mrs. Dumb got to show up her douchebag boyfriend - twice.
What did you think?
Phil's eyebrow, I mean. That lift. That height. That dexterity. That ability to count. Holy smokes. I love that man. I love the Kentuckys, also, and their ability to speak Eyebrow fluently. They knew they came in second and they loved it.
Last night was actually a pretty mediocre episode, if not for the Eyebrow Olympics. That, and did you see how excited Phil got when the blonde MelonHead suffered an eyebrow injury herself? She smacked herself in the head with the car door (done that, actually) and was bleeding pretty good at the mat. Phil was all giant toothy grin about that.
But other than that - the Docs did the fast forward (so sick of the vegetarians and their retching on this show) and came in a billion hours ahead of everyone else. (There will be airport bunching in their future.) The Kentuckys stayed in second. The VBalls were very predictably out (we don't fall for that editing anymore, BVM).
The scenery was gorgeous, however, and there were lots of laughs as they carried dead fish (and a chain saw?) up a steep hill, rode bikes over slippery rocks, rappelled off a bridge, etc. etc. The Dumbs got slightly dumber but at least Mrs. Dumb got to show up her douchebag boyfriend - twice.
What did you think?
Friday, October 22, 2010
Project Runway: Well, that was kind of a buzz kill
As Tim Gunn would say: Oh my.
Last night on part 1 of the finale of Project Runway, the designers were sent off with six weeks (what happened to three months?) and $9,000 to make 10 looks (is it just me or by the end of the PR season are you totally sick of the word "looks"?).
Four weeks in, Tim Gunn booked his airfare and hit the road.
First up, Andy in Hawaii. And it was no spa life for our Laotian immigrant Warrior Woman designer, kids. His family owns a catfish farm. He worked his butt off as a child. Seeing Tim Gunn and waders and squealing at the sight of baby catfish was certainly a treat.
So Tim is super-duper Dr. Gunn on all these visits and is so busy grilling people about their psyches etc. that he barely has time to critique the clothes.
Andy's collection has a Laotian theme and he just got the fabrics delivered and he is running way behind. Oh no!
Then we head to Palm Springs to see Michael C., who in true Michael C. mode has pumped out 2,467 dresses. His boyfriend is there. Wait, Michael C. is gay? And we've been keeping that a secret because ...
So it turns out there was all this drama in Michael's life, he was so deeply in the closet that he got married and fathered a son and the his boyfriend outed him three years ago and his parents have not supported him ever and would you like more lasagna Tim?
Now we go to Denver with Tim to visit Mondo, in his tiny house with pink walls. Perhaps it's because there is all this attention on anti-gay bullying right now, but I find Mondo's home visit very touching, as he and his parents talk about what an outcast he was as a child. They forced him to play baseball so he could take the piano lessons he wanted. Poor sweet Mondo. He is the example, kids, of why you need to hang on through all the bad stuff, because if you can get to the other side, you can make your dream come true.
And now to Portland, Ore., to see Gretchen. Speaking of bad news, Gretchen returned home to find her partner (gender never specified) had left her and taken all her money. Ouch. On the other hand, I totally get it. So Gretchen is even more of a mess than usual. And even skinnier.
So off to New York, big suite, choose two looks, make a third look, everybody wants to either wow or be wowed.
Runway show: Mondo's is fabulous of course although I don't love the turquoise top. Michael's is effortlessly chic as usual and I hate the furry skirt. Andy's is interesting in that the warrior is not there, but really? A bikini? And Gretchen's is her usual hippie mess, which I hate.
Michael and Nina are brutal. BRUUUUTAL. It's actually painful to watch. Evil Heidi has been replaced by Nice Heidi. I'm not sure what's going on here.
So of course it's Mondo, and then it's Andy and then it's Gretchen, and Michael C. suffers a breakdown on TV like we haven't seen since Kate Gosselin was on Dancing with the Stars. It's really hard for anyone to be happy about the final three since the fourth is curled up in the fetal position heaving sobs. Tim does his best, but really, it's very disconcerting.
Next week, Lincoln Center. Which is not nearly as fun to say as Bryant Park. And Mondo will win.
Last night on part 1 of the finale of Project Runway, the designers were sent off with six weeks (what happened to three months?) and $9,000 to make 10 looks (is it just me or by the end of the PR season are you totally sick of the word "looks"?).
Four weeks in, Tim Gunn booked his airfare and hit the road.
First up, Andy in Hawaii. And it was no spa life for our Laotian immigrant Warrior Woman designer, kids. His family owns a catfish farm. He worked his butt off as a child. Seeing Tim Gunn and waders and squealing at the sight of baby catfish was certainly a treat.
So Tim is super-duper Dr. Gunn on all these visits and is so busy grilling people about their psyches etc. that he barely has time to critique the clothes.
Andy's collection has a Laotian theme and he just got the fabrics delivered and he is running way behind. Oh no!
Then we head to Palm Springs to see Michael C., who in true Michael C. mode has pumped out 2,467 dresses. His boyfriend is there. Wait, Michael C. is gay? And we've been keeping that a secret because ...
So it turns out there was all this drama in Michael's life, he was so deeply in the closet that he got married and fathered a son and the his boyfriend outed him three years ago and his parents have not supported him ever and would you like more lasagna Tim?
Now we go to Denver with Tim to visit Mondo, in his tiny house with pink walls. Perhaps it's because there is all this attention on anti-gay bullying right now, but I find Mondo's home visit very touching, as he and his parents talk about what an outcast he was as a child. They forced him to play baseball so he could take the piano lessons he wanted. Poor sweet Mondo. He is the example, kids, of why you need to hang on through all the bad stuff, because if you can get to the other side, you can make your dream come true.
And now to Portland, Ore., to see Gretchen. Speaking of bad news, Gretchen returned home to find her partner (gender never specified) had left her and taken all her money. Ouch. On the other hand, I totally get it. So Gretchen is even more of a mess than usual. And even skinnier.
So off to New York, big suite, choose two looks, make a third look, everybody wants to either wow or be wowed.
Runway show: Mondo's is fabulous of course although I don't love the turquoise top. Michael's is effortlessly chic as usual and I hate the furry skirt. Andy's is interesting in that the warrior is not there, but really? A bikini? And Gretchen's is her usual hippie mess, which I hate.
Michael and Nina are brutal. BRUUUUTAL. It's actually painful to watch. Evil Heidi has been replaced by Nice Heidi. I'm not sure what's going on here.
So of course it's Mondo, and then it's Andy and then it's Gretchen, and Michael C. suffers a breakdown on TV like we haven't seen since Kate Gosselin was on Dancing with the Stars. It's really hard for anyone to be happy about the final three since the fourth is curled up in the fetal position heaving sobs. Tim does his best, but really, it's very disconcerting.
Next week, Lincoln Center. Which is not nearly as fun to say as Bryant Park. And Mondo will win.
Monday, October 18, 2010
The Amazing Race 17: Ice, ice, baby
Ghana to Lapland, kids, that's what ol' Bertram had planned for the Racers last night, and for once the airport stuff actually mattered. Sure there was the bunch up because we were, after all, in Ghana, and it's not like there are 50 flights a day to Lapland. I don't think there are 50 flights a day period. But, if you were a smart racer, like the WhoTubes, you could get out of the bunch and regain your footing.
But first, our Racers spent the morning giving back in Ghana, painting and fixing up the school where they had done their challenges and spent the night. Very nice.
But then it was back to business, and everyone was flying to Lapland, 4,500 miles to the part of the world where lap dances were invented. It's true. I read it on the Internet.
So the WhoTubes, the Docs, the Kentuckys, and the Melons played it smart and got on a better flight in Germany and so had a 2-hour lead on everyone else when they landed. Once on the ground they had to find the Ice Hotel, except it was summer time so it was in cold storage. The Speedbump for the Whos involved sitting on ice chairs for 10 minutes. Really? Why even bother?
Then it was off the woods to race mush dogs on fur-covered vehicles, grabbing flags as they went and trading them in for pelts. Everyone had such a great time doing this challenge, it;s why we love the Race. Watching people do cool things that we will never do in a part of the world we will never see. Amazing. The Whos go from worst to first.
Meanwhile, back in the pack, Jill and Thomas are rapidly making the Dumbs look like they qualify to be on Big Bang Theory. Wow.
The Detour is called Sleds or Beds, and the teams can either race pell mell down a mountain on a little scooter thing, or build and furnish a tent that I believe is the first cousin to the yurt. The Whos choose the yurt because WhoDad is fragile. Everyone else opts for sleds. The Melons do it on the first try, while the Docs and Kentuckys take two tries.
Meanwhile, everyone else is making their way through the episode ... Jill and Thomas get worse and worse off. The Gleeks are stymied by the mountain, as are The Rings and the VBalls. They switch to the tent.
So we end up with the Docs in first, which proves that this is the most wild-card-y season of AR ever. Second is the Kentuckys, third is the Melons, the Whos are fourth.
Jill and Thomas use the Express Pass and come in fifth. Whoop-de-doo.
The Dumbs are sixth, the Rings are seventh and it is down to the VBalls and the Gleeks. A Clash of the Titans if ever there was one. The Gleeks are last, and it is their graduation day back at Princeton, so they throw their hats up in the air while harmonizing on Pomp and Circumstance and then sing a little "we're out" song. What did you think?
But first, our Racers spent the morning giving back in Ghana, painting and fixing up the school where they had done their challenges and spent the night. Very nice.
But then it was back to business, and everyone was flying to Lapland, 4,500 miles to the part of the world where lap dances were invented. It's true. I read it on the Internet.
So the WhoTubes, the Docs, the Kentuckys, and the Melons played it smart and got on a better flight in Germany and so had a 2-hour lead on everyone else when they landed. Once on the ground they had to find the Ice Hotel, except it was summer time so it was in cold storage. The Speedbump for the Whos involved sitting on ice chairs for 10 minutes. Really? Why even bother?
Then it was off the woods to race mush dogs on fur-covered vehicles, grabbing flags as they went and trading them in for pelts. Everyone had such a great time doing this challenge, it;s why we love the Race. Watching people do cool things that we will never do in a part of the world we will never see. Amazing. The Whos go from worst to first.
Meanwhile, back in the pack, Jill and Thomas are rapidly making the Dumbs look like they qualify to be on Big Bang Theory. Wow.
The Detour is called Sleds or Beds, and the teams can either race pell mell down a mountain on a little scooter thing, or build and furnish a tent that I believe is the first cousin to the yurt. The Whos choose the yurt because WhoDad is fragile. Everyone else opts for sleds. The Melons do it on the first try, while the Docs and Kentuckys take two tries.
Meanwhile, everyone else is making their way through the episode ... Jill and Thomas get worse and worse off. The Gleeks are stymied by the mountain, as are The Rings and the VBalls. They switch to the tent.
So we end up with the Docs in first, which proves that this is the most wild-card-y season of AR ever. Second is the Kentuckys, third is the Melons, the Whos are fourth.
Jill and Thomas use the Express Pass and come in fifth. Whoop-de-doo.
The Dumbs are sixth, the Rings are seventh and it is down to the VBalls and the Gleeks. A Clash of the Titans if ever there was one. The Gleeks are last, and it is their graduation day back at Princeton, so they throw their hats up in the air while harmonizing on Pomp and Circumstance and then sing a little "we're out" song. What did you think?
Friday, October 15, 2010
Project Runway: A New York State of Mind
Oh dear. We are nearing the end. And frankly, designers, if you think you're tired, well, just take a look at us. We are EXHAUSTED. And don't even get me started about Tim Gunn. The man can barely keep it together anymore.
But does Heidi give us the presidential suite at the Mandarin Oriental? Does she give it to Tim? No, she wastes it on these whiny, thankless crybabies. Oh, no, wait. That was last season. This season the Top 5 spend the evening in the suite talking about what a growing experience Project Runway has been for them. Well, except for Gretchen. She's there because she deserves it. As for Michael C. and Andy and Mondo and April, it has been a journey.
So it's all Mayor Bloomberg (trying to outdapper Tim; FAIL) and how great New York is and oh by the way this year Fashion Week is at Lincoln Center. Which will matter to three of you. So New York is your inspiration - which, for the record, we've done this challenge before - and in a city of 9 million people and 10 million iconic landmarks, two of the five choose the Brooklyn Bridge. Really?
It is actually completely hilarious because Michael C. looks at the Statue of Liberty and thinks: "Wait a minute. Wait. A. Minute. I know! I'm going to make a drapey dress!" And Mondo and April both go to the Brooklyn Bridge and stare at wires. And Andy goes to Central Park and makes a big deal about all the trees and stuff and then (well, we 'll get to that in a minute) and Gretchen, poor, tired, insane, out-of-gas Gretchen, goes to the Lower East Side and stares at bricks.
They have 2 hours to think and sketch. They have 45 minutes to shop and $500 to spend. This is like record-breaking stuff here. Back in the workroom, Tim suffers an adverb breakdown in his admonishments. Now that's tired.
When creative people get tired they get silly. So these guys get silly. Michael C. does an impression of Michael Kors that is so spot on it replaces Santino's Tim impression in the PR Hall of Fame Moments. Then Tim comes back for his critique, and Gretchen cracks her psyche open a little more, and Tim absolutely does not want to hug her, tries to get away with the elbow squeeze, and then realizes that in order to keep this wretched girl from hurling herself off the Brooklyn Bridge, he is going to have to provide the full embrace. And so he does.
Design, design, sew, sew, insult Michael C., self-doubt, Mondo is adorable when he naps, day is done. Next day fittings, hair, make-up, blah blah blah. Gretchen is toast.
Runway! CHRISTIAN! He is like Mondo's cool older cousin. Speaking of Mondo, he is dressed like the dude from Cheap Trick who played the guitar. He matches his outfit. Which is fabulous, by the way.
Andy's communing with nature leads to a cool black dress that says nothing about trees and everything about underground railroad tunnels. April does the same dress as always except this time it's maternity wear. Michael does a gown that you can absolutely see on the Oscar red carpet. And Gretchen knocks off a look form JC Penney's Fall 2008 line.
The judges make the girls cry. I may be wrong but I think Heidi is mean to Mondo. Christian adorably looks for the positive with everyone, because honey, he has been there-done that.
And Michael wins! And Mondo! And Andy ... although they tell him Warrior Woman needs to go. And then. And then. It's Gretchen over April, which I'm sad about because I hate Gretchen's Bohemian Rhapsody thing and I like April's sort of "Heathers" take on life.
Next week four will start but only three finish. If there is a God, Mondo and Michael C. will be in the Top 3 and then Mondo will win. What did you think?
But does Heidi give us the presidential suite at the Mandarin Oriental? Does she give it to Tim? No, she wastes it on these whiny, thankless crybabies. Oh, no, wait. That was last season. This season the Top 5 spend the evening in the suite talking about what a growing experience Project Runway has been for them. Well, except for Gretchen. She's there because she deserves it. As for Michael C. and Andy and Mondo and April, it has been a journey.
So it's all Mayor Bloomberg (trying to outdapper Tim; FAIL) and how great New York is and oh by the way this year Fashion Week is at Lincoln Center. Which will matter to three of you. So New York is your inspiration - which, for the record, we've done this challenge before - and in a city of 9 million people and 10 million iconic landmarks, two of the five choose the Brooklyn Bridge. Really?
It is actually completely hilarious because Michael C. looks at the Statue of Liberty and thinks: "Wait a minute. Wait. A. Minute. I know! I'm going to make a drapey dress!" And Mondo and April both go to the Brooklyn Bridge and stare at wires. And Andy goes to Central Park and makes a big deal about all the trees and stuff and then (well, we 'll get to that in a minute) and Gretchen, poor, tired, insane, out-of-gas Gretchen, goes to the Lower East Side and stares at bricks.
They have 2 hours to think and sketch. They have 45 minutes to shop and $500 to spend. This is like record-breaking stuff here. Back in the workroom, Tim suffers an adverb breakdown in his admonishments. Now that's tired.
When creative people get tired they get silly. So these guys get silly. Michael C. does an impression of Michael Kors that is so spot on it replaces Santino's Tim impression in the PR Hall of Fame Moments. Then Tim comes back for his critique, and Gretchen cracks her psyche open a little more, and Tim absolutely does not want to hug her, tries to get away with the elbow squeeze, and then realizes that in order to keep this wretched girl from hurling herself off the Brooklyn Bridge, he is going to have to provide the full embrace. And so he does.
Design, design, sew, sew, insult Michael C., self-doubt, Mondo is adorable when he naps, day is done. Next day fittings, hair, make-up, blah blah blah. Gretchen is toast.
Runway! CHRISTIAN! He is like Mondo's cool older cousin. Speaking of Mondo, he is dressed like the dude from Cheap Trick who played the guitar. He matches his outfit. Which is fabulous, by the way.
Andy's communing with nature leads to a cool black dress that says nothing about trees and everything about underground railroad tunnels. April does the same dress as always except this time it's maternity wear. Michael does a gown that you can absolutely see on the Oscar red carpet. And Gretchen knocks off a look form JC Penney's Fall 2008 line.
The judges make the girls cry. I may be wrong but I think Heidi is mean to Mondo. Christian adorably looks for the positive with everyone, because honey, he has been there-done that.
And Michael wins! And Mondo! And Andy ... although they tell him Warrior Woman needs to go. And then. And then. It's Gretchen over April, which I'm sad about because I hate Gretchen's Bohemian Rhapsody thing and I like April's sort of "Heathers" take on life.
Next week four will start but only three finish. If there is a God, Mondo and Michael C. will be in the Top 3 and then Mondo will win. What did you think?
Friday, October 8, 2010
Project Runway: A bad case of poison Ivy
Tim Gunn has been put through the wringer this season on Project Runway, having to slap down Gretchen early on and then last night having to put that witch Ivy in her place ... again. Wow, she is an angry bitter nasty piece of work.
It actually wasn't that good of an episode, as I a) think Heidi's "collection" is hideous and b) never really like it when they bring the ousted back from the dead. I mean, haven't we all moved on? Obviously not Ivy ...
So the challenge for the Top 6 is to design something to go with Heidi's activewear collection that is sold on Amazon.com, a bunch of stretchy looking clothes in muted tones of dust and grit. Supposedly we suburban housewives want to put this stuff on after we leave the gym and before we hit the grocery store. I'm not sure what Clinton and Stacy would say about all of that.
So they have to use Heidi's Industrial Age color palette and her stretch knit jersey fabrics and off we go. Mondo is upset because there's no pink. Gretchen is upset because there's no wool crepe. Christopher is upset because once again we have discovered a kind of clothing he has never designed before. Seriously, what does this guy do all day?
Then, HEIDI COMES TO THE WORKROOM. Looking fabulous, I might add. Holy cow, that jacket. That hair. That eyeliner. We watch Mondo literally turn into a 4-year-old caught coloring on the walls with marker. We watch Gretchen hop back on her WWoTW broom and fly around the room hurling reams of banned fabrics. It is crazy.
Then Tim brings back the ousted and Ivy unleashes her vomitous spew on Michael C. and then Tim has to come back and bitch slap her. It's just ugly, as are the clothes. I hate this challenge.
They each make three things. Andy, Mondo and April are top, and Andy wins. I like his skeleton dress but I hate that tunic-y thing. Imagine making a 9-pound runway model look hip-py. That's what he did. Imagine what I would look like in that. At the A&P. (For the record, I wasn't crazy about anybody's stuff.)
Gretchen is again shocked that she is sucking, Christopher knows he is dead and Michael is hopeful that he isn't going to wet himself during the judging. Christopher goes home, nicely and with grace, and off we go to the Top 5.
What did you think?
It actually wasn't that good of an episode, as I a) think Heidi's "collection" is hideous and b) never really like it when they bring the ousted back from the dead. I mean, haven't we all moved on? Obviously not Ivy ...
So the challenge for the Top 6 is to design something to go with Heidi's activewear collection that is sold on Amazon.com, a bunch of stretchy looking clothes in muted tones of dust and grit. Supposedly we suburban housewives want to put this stuff on after we leave the gym and before we hit the grocery store. I'm not sure what Clinton and Stacy would say about all of that.
So they have to use Heidi's Industrial Age color palette and her stretch knit jersey fabrics and off we go. Mondo is upset because there's no pink. Gretchen is upset because there's no wool crepe. Christopher is upset because once again we have discovered a kind of clothing he has never designed before. Seriously, what does this guy do all day?
Then, HEIDI COMES TO THE WORKROOM. Looking fabulous, I might add. Holy cow, that jacket. That hair. That eyeliner. We watch Mondo literally turn into a 4-year-old caught coloring on the walls with marker. We watch Gretchen hop back on her WWoTW broom and fly around the room hurling reams of banned fabrics. It is crazy.
Then Tim brings back the ousted and Ivy unleashes her vomitous spew on Michael C. and then Tim has to come back and bitch slap her. It's just ugly, as are the clothes. I hate this challenge.
They each make three things. Andy, Mondo and April are top, and Andy wins. I like his skeleton dress but I hate that tunic-y thing. Imagine making a 9-pound runway model look hip-py. That's what he did. Imagine what I would look like in that. At the A&P. (For the record, I wasn't crazy about anybody's stuff.)
Gretchen is again shocked that she is sucking, Christopher knows he is dead and Michael is hopeful that he isn't going to wet himself during the judging. Christopher goes home, nicely and with grace, and off we go to the Top 5.
What did you think?
Monday, October 4, 2010
The Amazing Race 17: I'm just so proud I haven't soiled myself
Last night's episode of The Amazing Race was the kind in which the story lines are advanced, the racers are advanced, but we are left feeling, well, meh. Lots of taxi shenanigans, lots of sweaty brows, lots and lots of frustration but, well, watching someone try and hawk crappy sunglasses to the impoverished residents of an impoverished nation, and then watching someone install a TV antennae ("How about now?" "Now?" "How's it look now?") does not exactly make for compelling viewing.
We leave lush England and make our way to Accra, Ghana, where it is clearly hot as hell. Jill and Thomas, they of the Express Pass, have a five-minute lead over the anesthesiologists named Kat and Nat. Following close behind are the Gleeks, the MelonHeads and the VBalls. All of that is for naught, as there is only flight to Ghana and they are all on it.
Once in Ghana, they must find a park with lovely fountains. From there they must find the Makola Market, which is crazy busy. The Roadblock is for one team member to sell 15 cedi worth of sunglasses. The blond MelonHead is ecstatic, as she spends her life convincing housewives in Des Moines that they must have that all-in-one bag and those stretch stirrup pants. Piece. Of. Cake.
The father and son team (I am calling them the WhoTubes because they are apparently a YouTube sensation that I have never heard of) are second, as who can resist that dad, and the Gleeks are third. Everyone else struggles.
At the Detour - where I am chagrined to find Phil wearing a very unfortunate pair of pants - teams must choose Tune In or Check Out - TV antennae installation or crazy coffin delivery. Neither of these seem particularly daunting, albeit everyone is sweating their patooties off.
Once that is done they have to go to the Kaneshie Market, which makes that first market look like a preschool, and find Phil and his Bad Pants under a bridge. MelonHeads are first, VBalls WhoTubes, The Ring, and Jill and Thomas, now known as Formerly First.
This episode came down to bad taxi drivers and worse traffic. The Gleeks, the Docs, Dumb and Dumber and The Miss Kentuckys were all neck and neck in their taxis, and the Docs urged their suicidal cab driver to pretty much create his own lane and get them to the mat. This inspired the Gleeks to do the same, until they were almost killed, prompting the taller of the two to a) ask for his mommy and b) say "I'm just so proud that I haven't soiled myself." To which the shorter one replied, "I think I might've."
So it's the Gleeks, the Docs, the Dumbs, the Kentuckians, and last but not least (but definitely eliminated) were the BioMoms. I have to admit I teared up during their last little interview, because really, who can even imagine all that pent up emotion and regret and lost love ... but still ... not exactly a dynamo those two.
Next week, we remain in Africa, where it's going to get even hotter. What did you think?
We leave lush England and make our way to Accra, Ghana, where it is clearly hot as hell. Jill and Thomas, they of the Express Pass, have a five-minute lead over the anesthesiologists named Kat and Nat. Following close behind are the Gleeks, the MelonHeads and the VBalls. All of that is for naught, as there is only flight to Ghana and they are all on it.
Once in Ghana, they must find a park with lovely fountains. From there they must find the Makola Market, which is crazy busy. The Roadblock is for one team member to sell 15 cedi worth of sunglasses. The blond MelonHead is ecstatic, as she spends her life convincing housewives in Des Moines that they must have that all-in-one bag and those stretch stirrup pants. Piece. Of. Cake.
The father and son team (I am calling them the WhoTubes because they are apparently a YouTube sensation that I have never heard of) are second, as who can resist that dad, and the Gleeks are third. Everyone else struggles.
At the Detour - where I am chagrined to find Phil wearing a very unfortunate pair of pants - teams must choose Tune In or Check Out - TV antennae installation or crazy coffin delivery. Neither of these seem particularly daunting, albeit everyone is sweating their patooties off.
Once that is done they have to go to the Kaneshie Market, which makes that first market look like a preschool, and find Phil and his Bad Pants under a bridge. MelonHeads are first, VBalls WhoTubes, The Ring, and Jill and Thomas, now known as Formerly First.
This episode came down to bad taxi drivers and worse traffic. The Gleeks, the Docs, Dumb and Dumber and The Miss Kentuckys were all neck and neck in their taxis, and the Docs urged their suicidal cab driver to pretty much create his own lane and get them to the mat. This inspired the Gleeks to do the same, until they were almost killed, prompting the taller of the two to a) ask for his mommy and b) say "I'm just so proud that I haven't soiled myself." To which the shorter one replied, "I think I might've."
So it's the Gleeks, the Docs, the Dumbs, the Kentuckians, and last but not least (but definitely eliminated) were the BioMoms. I have to admit I teared up during their last little interview, because really, who can even imagine all that pent up emotion and regret and lost love ... but still ... not exactly a dynamo those two.
Next week, we remain in Africa, where it's going to get even hotter. What did you think?
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Dancing with the Stars: Bend Over and Bark Like A Dog
So we are Hoff-less to open Dancing with the Stars last night, and we are apparently still shocked by it, and will remain so throughout the evening. Brooke Burke will anyway. She always makes me wonder if double-sided tape hurts like a Band-Aid when it comes off.
It's Jive and Quick Step night, two physically demanding and tricky dances that always flummox the celebs. It's only week 2, for heaven's sake. How about a nice rumba instead?
But nope, here's Rick "Lurch" Fox and Cheryl and they are jiving their brains out and it is actually quite good. He creeps me out with his tallness and that deep voice, but I liked it. Judges: 7, 7, 7.
Then it's Mrs. Brady and Corky Ballas and don't you picture Corky thinking he's Mike Brady? That guy makes the craziest faces. Florence is mad that she's 76 and wants everyone to stop talking about it but Carrie Ann is all, Oh, I don't think so you old bat. Her legs are killer for 76 (sorry Flo) and she messes up the quick step a little in the middle and may need CPR backstage, and I think Cindy Brady is in the audience and there's Niecy Nash! and the judges go 7, 6, 6.
Brandy and Maks are doing the jive and we have to sit through the fake tension that the producers insist on creating with all Maks' partners and then they dance in these fabulous outfits (Maks' pants are perhaps the greatest pants in the history of the show) and I enjoy it but the judges go 7, 7, 7. Really?
Chelsie and Michael Bolton have the jive and he is wearing a surgical mask at rehearsal because he is sick and very crabby. He cannot believe he scored so low last week because he is MICHAEL BOLTON. Dude, you are lucky the Hoff was so bad or you'd be home right now. So they are not having fun in rehearsal, mostly because Mr. Bolton is an ass. But then ...
He really does crawl out of a dog house on stage to open the dance and I can't decide which is worse: him doing that or the jacket he is wearing. Poor Chelsie. First Jake and now this. It really was horrendous. The judges go 4, 5, 3 (Bruno!!!) Ouch. I'm guessing Michael Bolton is firing his agent today.
Audrina and Tony do the quick step and Tony is wearing a duct tape suit. The judges go 8, 8, 7.
Jennifer Grey and Derek have the jive and last week she rubbed our face in our beloved Patrick Swayze's death and tonight ... she had CANCER. Last year during her pre-DWTS check up they found a tumor on her spine and she had surgery and plates and there are scars. COME ON. The jive is actually good, and the judges go 8, 8, 8.
We hear words of wisdom from Sarah Palin on the sidelines.
Margaret Cho and Dr. Louis van Amstel are next and they are all serious this week and not trying to mock the process anymore with their jive and Louis works his magic and helps Margaret to have a tearful epiphany. And Niecy is in the audience going, Oh yes, sister, let it happen, it feels gooood when you let it all out to Louis, and somewhere on a treadmill somewhere Kelly Osbourne is saying the same thing. They get 6s.
Kyle Massey and Lacey have a quickstep which is good - not as good as last week's cha cha - and the judges go: 8, 7, 7
Anna and Kurt do the jive and tonight he is wearing brown pants and I see nothing that the judges see. 7, 7, 7.
Karina and The Situation have a quick step and in perhaps the greatest television humiliation since the Nixon-Kennedy debate, Carrie Ann tells poor Sit that he is pigeon-toed. Which we already knew, Carrie Ann. Did you have to say it out loud? The judges go 6, 6, 6.
Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas close the show and they lose valuable rehearsal time flying to Alaska to sightsee and the visit the Mom. No sight of Dad anywhere. She is described as a teen activist, which I guess is either funny or sad, depending on your point of view. For their quick step they get 7, 8 (Len!), 7. She is growing on me, this girl. She seems genuine.
Who's going home? Michael Bolton of course. Woof.
It's Jive and Quick Step night, two physically demanding and tricky dances that always flummox the celebs. It's only week 2, for heaven's sake. How about a nice rumba instead?
But nope, here's Rick "Lurch" Fox and Cheryl and they are jiving their brains out and it is actually quite good. He creeps me out with his tallness and that deep voice, but I liked it. Judges: 7, 7, 7.
Then it's Mrs. Brady and Corky Ballas and don't you picture Corky thinking he's Mike Brady? That guy makes the craziest faces. Florence is mad that she's 76 and wants everyone to stop talking about it but Carrie Ann is all, Oh, I don't think so you old bat. Her legs are killer for 76 (sorry Flo) and she messes up the quick step a little in the middle and may need CPR backstage, and I think Cindy Brady is in the audience and there's Niecy Nash! and the judges go 7, 6, 6.
Brandy and Maks are doing the jive and we have to sit through the fake tension that the producers insist on creating with all Maks' partners and then they dance in these fabulous outfits (Maks' pants are perhaps the greatest pants in the history of the show) and I enjoy it but the judges go 7, 7, 7. Really?
Chelsie and Michael Bolton have the jive and he is wearing a surgical mask at rehearsal because he is sick and very crabby. He cannot believe he scored so low last week because he is MICHAEL BOLTON. Dude, you are lucky the Hoff was so bad or you'd be home right now. So they are not having fun in rehearsal, mostly because Mr. Bolton is an ass. But then ...
He really does crawl out of a dog house on stage to open the dance and I can't decide which is worse: him doing that or the jacket he is wearing. Poor Chelsie. First Jake and now this. It really was horrendous. The judges go 4, 5, 3 (Bruno!!!) Ouch. I'm guessing Michael Bolton is firing his agent today.
Audrina and Tony do the quick step and Tony is wearing a duct tape suit. The judges go 8, 8, 7.
Jennifer Grey and Derek have the jive and last week she rubbed our face in our beloved Patrick Swayze's death and tonight ... she had CANCER. Last year during her pre-DWTS check up they found a tumor on her spine and she had surgery and plates and there are scars. COME ON. The jive is actually good, and the judges go 8, 8, 8.
We hear words of wisdom from Sarah Palin on the sidelines.
Margaret Cho and Dr. Louis van Amstel are next and they are all serious this week and not trying to mock the process anymore with their jive and Louis works his magic and helps Margaret to have a tearful epiphany. And Niecy is in the audience going, Oh yes, sister, let it happen, it feels gooood when you let it all out to Louis, and somewhere on a treadmill somewhere Kelly Osbourne is saying the same thing. They get 6s.
Kyle Massey and Lacey have a quickstep which is good - not as good as last week's cha cha - and the judges go: 8, 7, 7
Anna and Kurt do the jive and tonight he is wearing brown pants and I see nothing that the judges see. 7, 7, 7.
Karina and The Situation have a quick step and in perhaps the greatest television humiliation since the Nixon-Kennedy debate, Carrie Ann tells poor Sit that he is pigeon-toed. Which we already knew, Carrie Ann. Did you have to say it out loud? The judges go 6, 6, 6.
Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas close the show and they lose valuable rehearsal time flying to Alaska to sightsee and the visit the Mom. No sight of Dad anywhere. She is described as a teen activist, which I guess is either funny or sad, depending on your point of view. For their quick step they get 7, 8 (Len!), 7. She is growing on me, this girl. She seems genuine.
Who's going home? Michael Bolton of course. Woof.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Amazing Race 17: Storming the Castle
The 17th season of The Amazing Race started in Gloucester, Mass., and through the magic of television and the power of Phil Keoghan, it did not look like the Gloucester I know. I have good friends who live there and I don't recall it looking that, well, lush. But good for them. And the lobstermen who ferried the 11 teams in for the start.
Phil launches the season with an arched brow and the unveiling of the Express Pass, a little piece of paper that gives a team the chance to skip a task entirely. It could, Phil tells us, be the difference between going home and staying in. Which seems obvious to me but still. I'm thinking based on 16 seasons of watching this show that a piece of paper that allowed you to change your horrible cab driver into the world's greatest cab driver would be more valuable since that more often makes a difference in who finishes where.
The teams are: Brooke and Claire, shopping channel hostesses who shall be known as Melon Heads because of what happens to poor Claire in the English countryside; Chad and Stephanie, known as The Ring because he plans to propose to her during the race; Rachel and Katie, beach volleyball players form New Jersey, which somehow makes them less hot; Jonathan and Connor, Ivy League (Princeton?) a capella singers; Nat and Kat, surgeons and one diabetic; Michael and Kevin, an Asian-American father-son team who are apparently a YouTube sensation; Nick and Vicki, all tatted up and heretofore known as Dumb and Dumber ("Ah, yes," Phil says, "the country of London."); Ron and Tony, who I would call Biggie Smalls because of the difference in their sizes, but that seems wrong; Jill and Thomas, boyfriend and girlfriend; father and daughter Gary and Mallory, and she's Miss Kentucky and wakes up every day with a song in her heart; and Andie and Jenna, biological mom and daughter who have never met before.
The opening is sort of slow, as everyone has to get to Logan (not easy, we New Englanders know) and then from London to Stonehenge, in clown cars. From there we have one of those "clues" that they have to decipher and they must find their way to Eastnor Castle, a ways away.
And here many teams completely fall apart, because apparently they can't read road signs in English. This does not bode well for the rest of the race, when they are in places where English is a Ninth Language.
So at the castle they scale the wall while toothless Brits pour dirty water on them, and then "sail" across the moat in upside-down turtle shells, and then hurl watermelons at knight suits (and where Claire nearly decapitates herself with a back-shooting watermelon and then, because Brooke tells her to, finishes the task even though she has gone numb from the neck up) and then find Phil hanging in the woods with Robin and the boys.
Jill and Thomas are first, and they get the Express Pass, and then lots of others come in (my favorite part was when Dad and Son and Dad and Daughter came in together) and then, way, way, way, way, last are Ron and Tony and by week 3 we won't even remember they were here.
Next week we head to Ghana. I'm guessing the road signs are going to be more confusing than in England. How about you?
Phil launches the season with an arched brow and the unveiling of the Express Pass, a little piece of paper that gives a team the chance to skip a task entirely. It could, Phil tells us, be the difference between going home and staying in. Which seems obvious to me but still. I'm thinking based on 16 seasons of watching this show that a piece of paper that allowed you to change your horrible cab driver into the world's greatest cab driver would be more valuable since that more often makes a difference in who finishes where.
The teams are: Brooke and Claire, shopping channel hostesses who shall be known as Melon Heads because of what happens to poor Claire in the English countryside; Chad and Stephanie, known as The Ring because he plans to propose to her during the race; Rachel and Katie, beach volleyball players form New Jersey, which somehow makes them less hot; Jonathan and Connor, Ivy League (Princeton?) a capella singers; Nat and Kat, surgeons and one diabetic; Michael and Kevin, an Asian-American father-son team who are apparently a YouTube sensation; Nick and Vicki, all tatted up and heretofore known as Dumb and Dumber ("Ah, yes," Phil says, "the country of London."); Ron and Tony, who I would call Biggie Smalls because of the difference in their sizes, but that seems wrong; Jill and Thomas, boyfriend and girlfriend; father and daughter Gary and Mallory, and she's Miss Kentucky and wakes up every day with a song in her heart; and Andie and Jenna, biological mom and daughter who have never met before.
The opening is sort of slow, as everyone has to get to Logan (not easy, we New Englanders know) and then from London to Stonehenge, in clown cars. From there we have one of those "clues" that they have to decipher and they must find their way to Eastnor Castle, a ways away.
And here many teams completely fall apart, because apparently they can't read road signs in English. This does not bode well for the rest of the race, when they are in places where English is a Ninth Language.
So at the castle they scale the wall while toothless Brits pour dirty water on them, and then "sail" across the moat in upside-down turtle shells, and then hurl watermelons at knight suits (and where Claire nearly decapitates herself with a back-shooting watermelon and then, because Brooke tells her to, finishes the task even though she has gone numb from the neck up) and then find Phil hanging in the woods with Robin and the boys.
Jill and Thomas are first, and they get the Express Pass, and then lots of others come in (my favorite part was when Dad and Son and Dad and Daughter came in together) and then, way, way, way, way, last are Ron and Tony and by week 3 we won't even remember they were here.
Next week we head to Ghana. I'm guessing the road signs are going to be more confusing than in England. How about you?
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Hawaii Five-O, Chase, Raising Hope, Lone Star, Mike & Molly
One great, one pretty good, two good and one OK. That's my take on what I've seen so far of Monday night's brand new shows.
We'll start with great: Lone Star on Fox.
Starring a very attractive James Wolk (he's like a young Kyle Chandler), as Bob or Robert, depending on who he is talking to in Texas, this show is a drama about a scam. Or rather, about a scam artist who is trying to disengage from the scam. Bob/Robert leads two lives, one in Midland with his adorable girlfriend Lindsay, (Eloise Mumford), and one in Houston with his gorgeous rich wife Cat, (FNL's Adrianne Palick). Bob's dad, played beautifully by a well-aged David Keith, is King Scammer, and they have spent years setting this up in the hopes of ripping off Cat's oil-rich family. Her daddy, played beautifully by a well-aged Jon Voight, hires Bob to help run the business, much to the chagrin of her suspicious brother Tram (Mark Deklin). Her other brother, Drew, is kind of a dimwit. The rub is that Bob thinks he can actually do this stuff, and he wants to stay married to Cat and get married to Lindsay and have his cake and eat it to. The pilot set it all up great, and I am hooked.
Pretty good is Raising Hope, a sitcom on Fox. Now this show is not for the faint of heart or for those who like their comedy along the lines of Full House. Jimmy Chance (Lucas Neff) is a loser who gets a serial killer pregnant and ends up with the baby after she is executed for her crimes. That scene alone makes you laugh and cringe at the same time. His parents Burt (Garret Dillahunt) and Virginia (Martha Plimpton) have enough on their hands barely getting by without a baby in the house. And then there's senile old MawMaw, played by Cloris Leachman, often without a shirt on. This is black comedy of the blue-collar variety, and it made me laugh a lot.
Good includes Mike & Molly, a CBS sitcom that comes from Chuck Lorre but is very sweet (although there was one joke in there that made me think of Two and a Half Men).
Billy Gardell and Melissa McCarthy are the names in the title, and they meet at Overeaters Anonymous. This was a sweet, gentle comedy that gives Swoosie Kurtz some great screen time, so I am all in favor.
Also good was Hawaii Five-O, even though its opening sequence was lifted straight from the first Iron Man. But hottie Alex O’Loughlin is a good Steve McGarrett, stoic even in the face of his father's murder. Scott Caan is an appealing and humorous Danno, it is great to see Daniel Day Kim as Chin Ho Kelly and the lithe Grace Park as Kono is the token girl. A lot of the first plot laid groundwork and most of the story was completely ridiculously, but Jerry Bruckheimer knows how to keep things moving so we'll see.
As for OK, that would be NBC's Chase, which is basically Walker, Texas Rangerette. Kelli Giddish stars as U.S. Marshal Annie Frost (speaking of stoic) and the rest of her team - Cole Hauser as Jimmy Godfrey, Amaury Nolasco as Marco Martinez, and Rose Rollins as Daisy Ogbaa - pretty much just follow her around. It's very much like that cable series about that marshal that I can't stand. One and done with this.
What did you think?
We'll start with great: Lone Star on Fox.
Starring a very attractive James Wolk (he's like a young Kyle Chandler), as Bob or Robert, depending on who he is talking to in Texas, this show is a drama about a scam. Or rather, about a scam artist who is trying to disengage from the scam. Bob/Robert leads two lives, one in Midland with his adorable girlfriend Lindsay, (Eloise Mumford), and one in Houston with his gorgeous rich wife Cat, (FNL's Adrianne Palick). Bob's dad, played beautifully by a well-aged David Keith, is King Scammer, and they have spent years setting this up in the hopes of ripping off Cat's oil-rich family. Her daddy, played beautifully by a well-aged Jon Voight, hires Bob to help run the business, much to the chagrin of her suspicious brother Tram (Mark Deklin). Her other brother, Drew, is kind of a dimwit. The rub is that Bob thinks he can actually do this stuff, and he wants to stay married to Cat and get married to Lindsay and have his cake and eat it to. The pilot set it all up great, and I am hooked.
Pretty good is Raising Hope, a sitcom on Fox. Now this show is not for the faint of heart or for those who like their comedy along the lines of Full House. Jimmy Chance (Lucas Neff) is a loser who gets a serial killer pregnant and ends up with the baby after she is executed for her crimes. That scene alone makes you laugh and cringe at the same time. His parents Burt (Garret Dillahunt) and Virginia (Martha Plimpton) have enough on their hands barely getting by without a baby in the house. And then there's senile old MawMaw, played by Cloris Leachman, often without a shirt on. This is black comedy of the blue-collar variety, and it made me laugh a lot.
Good includes Mike & Molly, a CBS sitcom that comes from Chuck Lorre but is very sweet (although there was one joke in there that made me think of Two and a Half Men).
Billy Gardell and Melissa McCarthy are the names in the title, and they meet at Overeaters Anonymous. This was a sweet, gentle comedy that gives Swoosie Kurtz some great screen time, so I am all in favor.
Also good was Hawaii Five-O, even though its opening sequence was lifted straight from the first Iron Man. But hottie Alex O’Loughlin is a good Steve McGarrett, stoic even in the face of his father's murder. Scott Caan is an appealing and humorous Danno, it is great to see Daniel Day Kim as Chin Ho Kelly and the lithe Grace Park as Kono is the token girl. A lot of the first plot laid groundwork and most of the story was completely ridiculously, but Jerry Bruckheimer knows how to keep things moving so we'll see.
As for OK, that would be NBC's Chase, which is basically Walker, Texas Rangerette. Kelli Giddish stars as U.S. Marshal Annie Frost (speaking of stoic) and the rest of her team - Cole Hauser as Jimmy Godfrey, Amaury Nolasco as Marco Martinez, and Rose Rollins as Daisy Ogbaa - pretty much just follow her around. It's very much like that cable series about that marshal that I can't stand. One and done with this.
What did you think?
Monday, September 20, 2010
Dancing with the Stars: And suddenly, I love Kyle Massey
You just never know what's going to happen on Dancing with the Stars. Jerry Springer becomes an American folk hero. Drew Lachey grows taller. Niecy Nash becomes my favorite strong black woman. It's like you mix the celebrities and the pros and the bad wedding singers and the cheesy band and the lunatic judges and the Bedazzler and the spray tans and the bemused bemusement of Tom Bergeron and bam! Next thing you know, I'm in love with Kyle Massey.
Oh not in that way, you sillies. The chubby star of various Disney channel tween shows isn't my type. I think I may actually be old enough to be his grandma. Or his great aunt. But the way he and Lacey Schwimmer (blonde!) clicked, the way they hit that dance floor and set it on fire, the way they ate those judges and that cha cha for lunch; now that I loved. Kyle and Lacey are my new Louis and Niecy. I can only hope that at some point, they share deep dark secrets with each other, hold each other and cry.
But I'm getting ahead of myself with last night's premiere of season 18,687 of Dancing with the Stars. Because Kyle and Lacey were third. First we had to sit through Audrina Partridge and Kurt Warner.
Audrina, teamed with Tony Dovolani. She's from one of those really fake MTV reality shows in California, which means she is taller and thinner that Snookie, but not much else. The Invisible British Announcer Guy pronounces her name like the way the GPS talks when your kids make you set it on British for a while and everyone laughs. When she and Tony start dancing, she looks and acts just like a blow up doll. Which is good for Tony because his last partner, Kate Gosselin, looked and acted like a cardboard cutout. Judges go 6-7-6.
Kurt Warner, a quarterback, is teamed with super icky Anna. They will do the Viennese waltz. He is wearing a brown suit, and of one thing is true it's this: Nothing good every happens to you in a brown suit. Len is correct. The judges go 7-5-7.
Then come Kyle and Lacey and they are cha chaing to that awesome song First Kiss and I am not even going to be petty and point out that Anya and Kent did exactly the same thing on So You Think You Can Dance this summer. Nope. Not going to mention that. Carrie and I are both in love. It is fabulous. Judges go 8-7-8.
Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke do the Viennese waltz and Len says it was so good that he did not even notice that Rick Fox is tall. Like, Lurch tall. Well, I sure as hell noticed. Dude is tall. And has a giant cranium and whatever. Judges 8-7-7.
Margaret Cho has my beloved Louis van Amstel and they will waltz. And of course Dr. Louis van Amstel is in the house and Margaret begins confessing all kinds of issues to him. They go for funny in the dance but Margaret isn't that kind of comedian, she's not like Niecy was last season and she can't pull it off and the judges call them on it They will be out. I love you Louis. 5-5-5
Brandy the former pop singer has Maks and they waltz and even Maks' butt in those pants is not enough to keep me from forwarding through this. Brandy will be this season's Pussycat Doll, and you know how that made me feel. "Very little" dance experience. Shut up girl. 7-8-8
Poor Bristol Palin has Mark Ballas as a part, which is good because that guy works hard. He also doesn't know he's on TV when he tells her to go "balls out." Apparently the editors didn't know they were on TV either, since they left it in. Or maybe it means something else. Anyway, Bristol and Mark dance to Mama Told Me Not To Come, which they should've saved for Levi does this show in 2020 and Carrie's right, Bristol has great legs but I actually feel sorry for her. Something's got to pay the rent, though, right? 6-6-6
Florence Henderson will perk me right up though, and doesn't she look terrific with her spindly little legs and her big wide eyes. She is like the grandma at the wedding reception who had two too many and is making all the cute cousins dance with her. She and Corky Ballas do the cha cha and the judges give them 6-6-6.
Michael Bolton has the magnificent Chelsie Hightower for his partner and during their waltz he actually brings Kate Gosselin to mind again. She looked relaxed compared to him. He is horrendous. 6-5-5.
The Situation has Karina and I'm guessing that even in the only five days they had to rehearse that he at least tried to hit that. He looks hilarious in his black socks, black shoes and shorts and Len puts him in his place but good. The Situation has a sense of humor at least. 5-5-5
Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough crassly recreate some of Dirty Dancing's magic, and Jennifer feels cheap enough about it at one point to actually cry. I'm not sure why they kept showing Jamie Lee Curtis during and after the performance - other than the two possibly sharing some Activa, I don't think they are connected - but the judges fall for it and give their waltz 8-8-8. I actually would've liked this performance if they had not trampled all over Patrick Swayze's memory to score points.
And the Hoff and Kym Johnson do the cha cha and all I can think is ew. Gross. Ick. Blech. Yak. 5-5-5. That is just wrong.
But Margaret Cho will go home, which makes me sad because I love Louis. But she does not have the fan base within this show's demographics to survive that score. What did you think?
Oh not in that way, you sillies. The chubby star of various Disney channel tween shows isn't my type. I think I may actually be old enough to be his grandma. Or his great aunt. But the way he and Lacey Schwimmer (blonde!) clicked, the way they hit that dance floor and set it on fire, the way they ate those judges and that cha cha for lunch; now that I loved. Kyle and Lacey are my new Louis and Niecy. I can only hope that at some point, they share deep dark secrets with each other, hold each other and cry.
But I'm getting ahead of myself with last night's premiere of season 18,687 of Dancing with the Stars. Because Kyle and Lacey were third. First we had to sit through Audrina Partridge and Kurt Warner.
Audrina, teamed with Tony Dovolani. She's from one of those really fake MTV reality shows in California, which means she is taller and thinner that Snookie, but not much else. The Invisible British Announcer Guy pronounces her name like the way the GPS talks when your kids make you set it on British for a while and everyone laughs. When she and Tony start dancing, she looks and acts just like a blow up doll. Which is good for Tony because his last partner, Kate Gosselin, looked and acted like a cardboard cutout. Judges go 6-7-6.
Kurt Warner, a quarterback, is teamed with super icky Anna. They will do the Viennese waltz. He is wearing a brown suit, and of one thing is true it's this: Nothing good every happens to you in a brown suit. Len is correct. The judges go 7-5-7.
Then come Kyle and Lacey and they are cha chaing to that awesome song First Kiss and I am not even going to be petty and point out that Anya and Kent did exactly the same thing on So You Think You Can Dance this summer. Nope. Not going to mention that. Carrie and I are both in love. It is fabulous. Judges go 8-7-8.
Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke do the Viennese waltz and Len says it was so good that he did not even notice that Rick Fox is tall. Like, Lurch tall. Well, I sure as hell noticed. Dude is tall. And has a giant cranium and whatever. Judges 8-7-7.
Margaret Cho has my beloved Louis van Amstel and they will waltz. And of course Dr. Louis van Amstel is in the house and Margaret begins confessing all kinds of issues to him. They go for funny in the dance but Margaret isn't that kind of comedian, she's not like Niecy was last season and she can't pull it off and the judges call them on it They will be out. I love you Louis. 5-5-5
Brandy the former pop singer has Maks and they waltz and even Maks' butt in those pants is not enough to keep me from forwarding through this. Brandy will be this season's Pussycat Doll, and you know how that made me feel. "Very little" dance experience. Shut up girl. 7-8-8
Poor Bristol Palin has Mark Ballas as a part, which is good because that guy works hard. He also doesn't know he's on TV when he tells her to go "balls out." Apparently the editors didn't know they were on TV either, since they left it in. Or maybe it means something else. Anyway, Bristol and Mark dance to Mama Told Me Not To Come, which they should've saved for Levi does this show in 2020 and Carrie's right, Bristol has great legs but I actually feel sorry for her. Something's got to pay the rent, though, right? 6-6-6
Florence Henderson will perk me right up though, and doesn't she look terrific with her spindly little legs and her big wide eyes. She is like the grandma at the wedding reception who had two too many and is making all the cute cousins dance with her. She and Corky Ballas do the cha cha and the judges give them 6-6-6.
Michael Bolton has the magnificent Chelsie Hightower for his partner and during their waltz he actually brings Kate Gosselin to mind again. She looked relaxed compared to him. He is horrendous. 6-5-5.
The Situation has Karina and I'm guessing that even in the only five days they had to rehearse that he at least tried to hit that. He looks hilarious in his black socks, black shoes and shorts and Len puts him in his place but good. The Situation has a sense of humor at least. 5-5-5
Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough crassly recreate some of Dirty Dancing's magic, and Jennifer feels cheap enough about it at one point to actually cry. I'm not sure why they kept showing Jamie Lee Curtis during and after the performance - other than the two possibly sharing some Activa, I don't think they are connected - but the judges fall for it and give their waltz 8-8-8. I actually would've liked this performance if they had not trampled all over Patrick Swayze's memory to score points.
And the Hoff and Kym Johnson do the cha cha and all I can think is ew. Gross. Ick. Blech. Yak. 5-5-5. That is just wrong.
But Margaret Cho will go home, which makes me sad because I love Louis. But she does not have the fan base within this show's demographics to survive that score. What did you think?
Friday, September 17, 2010
Project Runway: Jackie Ohhhhh
I have to say I am digging the 90-minute format for Project Runway this season because we get so much more Tim Gunn for our buck, and wasn't Mr. Gunn just a barrel of bon mots during last night's episode?
"Jackie Kennedy never wore a camel toe"?
"It was your Waterloo"?
(And this is why I am sad that Michael D. went instead of that stiff Andy: Because Michael D. looked at Tim, said "I know!" and then followed that with, "And now I have to go look that up." Rim shot!
The Jackie Kennedy (why the complete avoidance of the Onassis portion of her program, I wonder?) challenge was fabulous because a) I love when the kids of today have to go back in time and acknowledge that stuff actually happened prior to the advent of Skype and b) because when you say something general to this group, like, oh, "Sportswear," you end up with everything from a cocktail dress to a leather pencil skirt. Times like this, I miss Casanova.
Side note: January Jones is a dud. On Saturday Night Live. On Project Runway. A dud.
I did love Mondo's outfit (both his own and his design - and really, don't you want to meet Mondo's parents? Are they the Addamses?). I'm glad he won, I love the way his mind works. And I don't know what his little bathing suit and jacket looked like in real life last week, but I thought the judges were way mean to him.
I thought Michael D. deserved to be in the bottom but did not deserve to go home. It should've been Andy, he of the giant ego and zero sense of humor. I cannot stand that guy. Plus, those pants were atrocious.
My two favorites this season are Mondo and Michael C., although I think there is no clear favorite as in past seasons. I am loving the judges - Heidi is beyond brutal - most of the guests are good (Miss Jones excepted), and the challenges have been terrific.
How about you? Are you enjoying this go-round?
"Jackie Kennedy never wore a camel toe"?
"It was your Waterloo"?
(And this is why I am sad that Michael D. went instead of that stiff Andy: Because Michael D. looked at Tim, said "I know!" and then followed that with, "And now I have to go look that up." Rim shot!
The Jackie Kennedy (why the complete avoidance of the Onassis portion of her program, I wonder?) challenge was fabulous because a) I love when the kids of today have to go back in time and acknowledge that stuff actually happened prior to the advent of Skype and b) because when you say something general to this group, like, oh, "Sportswear," you end up with everything from a cocktail dress to a leather pencil skirt. Times like this, I miss Casanova.
Side note: January Jones is a dud. On Saturday Night Live. On Project Runway. A dud.
I did love Mondo's outfit (both his own and his design - and really, don't you want to meet Mondo's parents? Are they the Addamses?). I'm glad he won, I love the way his mind works. And I don't know what his little bathing suit and jacket looked like in real life last week, but I thought the judges were way mean to him.
I thought Michael D. deserved to be in the bottom but did not deserve to go home. It should've been Andy, he of the giant ego and zero sense of humor. I cannot stand that guy. Plus, those pants were atrocious.
My two favorites this season are Mondo and Michael C., although I think there is no clear favorite as in past seasons. I am loving the judges - Heidi is beyond brutal - most of the guests are good (Miss Jones excepted), and the challenges have been terrific.
How about you? Are you enjoying this go-round?
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Who will win America's Got Talent?
Well, that's a dumb question. Creepy opera girl, of course.
Really? Maybe not. Maybe Piers "I suck lemons" Morgan's endless flogging of that little "angel" will backfire and America will think, "Hmm. I don't know. Maybe the harp and the tiara (read: halo) were a little too much." And vote for Michael Grimm.
Or maybe America will think putting little Jackie Evanko in a white dress and bathing her in white light and then having Howie talking about how seeing her and hearing her is akin to having a near-death experience is just gross, and vote for Prince Poppycock, who is also an amazing opera singer and, oh yes, a grown up.
Or maybe, just maybe, America will have noticed how intricate Fighting Gravity's performance was, how it was a whole good vs. evil, heaven vs. hell, God vs. Satan sort of struggle that included, at one point, the men in red hanging upside down, and think, "Now, that's awesome," and vote for them.
I'd go see a Prince Poppycock show, because it's a lot like Lady Gaga if she were a sophisticated drag queen with an amazing voice. I'd go see a Michael Grimm show because I love the way he sings. I'd go see a Fighting Gravity show because it is very, very cool. But in a hundred million years I would not go see that little girl sing her big opera.
I'm just sayin'. Or maybe I'm the only one freaked out/creeped out by little Jackie, and she's going to win in a landslide.
Really? Maybe not. Maybe Piers "I suck lemons" Morgan's endless flogging of that little "angel" will backfire and America will think, "Hmm. I don't know. Maybe the harp and the tiara (read: halo) were a little too much." And vote for Michael Grimm.
Or maybe America will think putting little Jackie Evanko in a white dress and bathing her in white light and then having Howie talking about how seeing her and hearing her is akin to having a near-death experience is just gross, and vote for Prince Poppycock, who is also an amazing opera singer and, oh yes, a grown up.
Or maybe, just maybe, America will have noticed how intricate Fighting Gravity's performance was, how it was a whole good vs. evil, heaven vs. hell, God vs. Satan sort of struggle that included, at one point, the men in red hanging upside down, and think, "Now, that's awesome," and vote for them.
I'd go see a Prince Poppycock show, because it's a lot like Lady Gaga if she were a sophisticated drag queen with an amazing voice. I'd go see a Michael Grimm show because I love the way he sings. I'd go see a Fighting Gravity show because it is very, very cool. But in a hundred million years I would not go see that little girl sing her big opera.
I'm just sayin'. Or maybe I'm the only one freaked out/creeped out by little Jackie, and she's going to win in a landslide.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Nikita: A kick-ass new show. Literally.
My experience with the CW network is they launch new shows with awesome pilots and then everything quickly devolves into predictable, been-there-done-that TV. I hope this is not the case with Nikita.
The spy show - a remake of a French film, an American film, and an American TV series - launched last week with a terrific pilot that moved so quickly I almost got whiplash. On the other hand, I very much appreciate a show that can lay that much necessary groundwork in the first hour and keep things moving right along.
Nikita is a young woman (played beautifully robotically by the gorgeous Maggie Q) who was a troubled child in foster care, who then became a troubled teen, who then got in trouble, who then was made to disappear by a secret government agency called the Division, who then became a trained assassin. This legion of folks perform the blackest of black ops.
The problem became that Nikita fell in love with a really nice not-assassin guy and the Division killed him. Hell hath no fury like a Nikita left alone in the world. She spent three years hiding, planning her revenge, and now she is enacting her plan. The pilot episode beautifully brought us to up date on all this and introduced us to all the major players. Fast, clear, understood. Genius. Thank you, writers.
While all of this is going on, there is a parallel storyline unfolding inside the Division, as we watch a new recruit being onboarded. (SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't watched yet, but plan to, STOP READING HERE.) Here we get to know Michael, who runs the assassins program, and Amanda (the fabulous Melinda Clarke from The OC and CSI), who shapes them. The new recruit, Alex (Lyndsy Fonseca), is actually working with Nikita - she is a plant on the inside! Bingo! Love this.
I have punched this into my Season Pass list in the hopes that it lives up to the pilot. The treachery is great, the fights, the technology, the explosions, all the stuff that made Alias and 24 and shows like that great in their early seasons.
The spy show - a remake of a French film, an American film, and an American TV series - launched last week with a terrific pilot that moved so quickly I almost got whiplash. On the other hand, I very much appreciate a show that can lay that much necessary groundwork in the first hour and keep things moving right along.
Nikita is a young woman (played beautifully robotically by the gorgeous Maggie Q) who was a troubled child in foster care, who then became a troubled teen, who then got in trouble, who then was made to disappear by a secret government agency called the Division, who then became a trained assassin. This legion of folks perform the blackest of black ops.
The problem became that Nikita fell in love with a really nice not-assassin guy and the Division killed him. Hell hath no fury like a Nikita left alone in the world. She spent three years hiding, planning her revenge, and now she is enacting her plan. The pilot episode beautifully brought us to up date on all this and introduced us to all the major players. Fast, clear, understood. Genius. Thank you, writers.
While all of this is going on, there is a parallel storyline unfolding inside the Division, as we watch a new recruit being onboarded. (SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't watched yet, but plan to, STOP READING HERE.) Here we get to know Michael, who runs the assassins program, and Amanda (the fabulous Melinda Clarke from The OC and CSI), who shapes them. The new recruit, Alex (Lyndsy Fonseca), is actually working with Nikita - she is a plant on the inside! Bingo! Love this.
I have punched this into my Season Pass list in the hopes that it lives up to the pilot. The treachery is great, the fights, the technology, the explosions, all the stuff that made Alias and 24 and shows like that great in their early seasons.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
America's Got Talent: Boatloads of talent, actually
OK, so in a little while we will find out who the Top 4 on America's Got Talent will be. Pins and needles I'm on, kids. Pins and needles.
Of the top 10, two who are out are easy: Christina and Ali and Taylor Matthews. I mean really. Neither should've been invited to this party in the first place. The sisters, both of whom have a heartbreaking story in that they have cystic fibrosis, are sweet and lovely. But they are not good singers. Certainly not as good as Alice whatshername who was sent packing last week by the judges. And Taylor Matthews makes Justin Bieber look like Pavarotti. Weak-voiced. Cute, but weak. So, bye-bye to them.
Then it gets a little tricky. I'd say Anna and Patryk, the ballroom dancing tweens, but she fell down at the start of their number last night and got right back and troopered her way through and then burst into tears when it was all over. America loves that kind of intestinal fortitude. So, who knows. They should go, though.
Perhaps the also very nice Jeremy Vanschoonhoven should also go, because while he seems very nice and sincere and his act certainly causes cuts and bruises, how much of one man bouncing up and down on a mountain bike with no seat does a paying customer want to see? Me, I'm about done with this act.
That leaves magician Michael Grasso, popera singer Prince Poppycock, frat boys Frighting Gravity, opera star Jackie Evancho, dance troupe Studio One Young Beast Society, and soulman Michael Grimm.
And this is where it gets really tricky. I think Studio One will be out, because, well, they are a dance troupe. But I look forward to seeing them perform an awesome routine during halftime at the Connecticut Sun next summer, where all acts like this from America's Got Talent end up. In a good way.
And now I'm stumped. I'm not a Jackie fan, I think that voice from a 10-year-old is downright creepy, and the poor thing is so rehearsed in every movement, look, and word that comes out of her mouth that I am guessing she is a Stepford Child. So she will go through, but not because of me.
I love Michael Grasso the magician. The trick last night was awesome. I felt the same way Howie did: HOW DID HE DO THAT? Plus, I love magicians in general. Like I love ventriloquists. Terry Fator. I'm just saying.
Michael Grimm is a singer. You know how I feel about singers on America's Got Talent. Go away. So while I think ol' Eeyore Grimm is perfectly talented, I don't want him to win.
So my favorite two, the two I'd like to see go head to head in the finale, is Prince Poppycock and Fighting Gravity. For all kinds of reasons, chief among them that are both ridiculously talented and creative and they keep getting better and better. I'd totally pay to see either, for different reasons.
Plus how fun would it be to have Mr. Gaga face off against the batch of frat brothers. Talk about a melting pot.
What do you think? Who are your Top 4?
Of the top 10, two who are out are easy: Christina and Ali and Taylor Matthews. I mean really. Neither should've been invited to this party in the first place. The sisters, both of whom have a heartbreaking story in that they have cystic fibrosis, are sweet and lovely. But they are not good singers. Certainly not as good as Alice whatshername who was sent packing last week by the judges. And Taylor Matthews makes Justin Bieber look like Pavarotti. Weak-voiced. Cute, but weak. So, bye-bye to them.
Then it gets a little tricky. I'd say Anna and Patryk, the ballroom dancing tweens, but she fell down at the start of their number last night and got right back and troopered her way through and then burst into tears when it was all over. America loves that kind of intestinal fortitude. So, who knows. They should go, though.
Perhaps the also very nice Jeremy Vanschoonhoven should also go, because while he seems very nice and sincere and his act certainly causes cuts and bruises, how much of one man bouncing up and down on a mountain bike with no seat does a paying customer want to see? Me, I'm about done with this act.
That leaves magician Michael Grasso, popera singer Prince Poppycock, frat boys Frighting Gravity, opera star Jackie Evancho, dance troupe Studio One Young Beast Society, and soulman Michael Grimm.
And this is where it gets really tricky. I think Studio One will be out, because, well, they are a dance troupe. But I look forward to seeing them perform an awesome routine during halftime at the Connecticut Sun next summer, where all acts like this from America's Got Talent end up. In a good way.
And now I'm stumped. I'm not a Jackie fan, I think that voice from a 10-year-old is downright creepy, and the poor thing is so rehearsed in every movement, look, and word that comes out of her mouth that I am guessing she is a Stepford Child. So she will go through, but not because of me.
I love Michael Grasso the magician. The trick last night was awesome. I felt the same way Howie did: HOW DID HE DO THAT? Plus, I love magicians in general. Like I love ventriloquists. Terry Fator. I'm just saying.
Michael Grimm is a singer. You know how I feel about singers on America's Got Talent. Go away. So while I think ol' Eeyore Grimm is perfectly talented, I don't want him to win.
So my favorite two, the two I'd like to see go head to head in the finale, is Prince Poppycock and Fighting Gravity. For all kinds of reasons, chief among them that are both ridiculously talented and creative and they keep getting better and better. I'd totally pay to see either, for different reasons.
Plus how fun would it be to have Mr. Gaga face off against the batch of frat brothers. Talk about a melting pot.
What do you think? Who are your Top 4?
Monday, August 30, 2010
The Emmys: So much right, so little wrong
OK, who are you and what have you done with the Emmy Awards? Last night was such a good show, from the opening Glee number to the hosting by Jimmy Fallon to almost all of the awards that were handed out that at the end of the broadcast (which was on time, btw) I half expected to find Bobby Ewing in my shower. All a dream! All a dream that Kyra Sedgwick finally won! All a dream that Modern Family rocked the house! All a dream that Jim Parsons now has a statuette! Edie Falco, big part of the dream!!!
But no. It was not a dream. It was all real, and thank you, academy, thank you for finally busting out of whatever hideous rut you were in and making some excellent choices.
Let's start from the beginning. When it became immediately clear that they were going with a Glee opening, I groaned. Actually out loud groaned. How obvious, I thought. But you know what? It was FABULOUS. The choice of Born to Run; the stars who participated (Tina Fey, Kate Gosselin with an actual sense of humor, Jon Hamm, Betty White, Jane Lynch, Hurley, I think the chick from Dollhouse, the dude from Community). When Tim Gunn came out I laughed out loud and when Randy Jackson appeared playing bass, I roared. Bravo.
They split the show up into its genre categories. By 8:47, we had blasted through comedy, giving awards to Eric Stonestreet (Cam in Modern Family), Jane Lynch for Glee, Jim Parsons for Big Bang Theory and Edie Falco for Nurse Jackie. All of those were so richly deserved (and what tough competition).
In the reality genre, Top Chef finally knocked Amazing Race off its Emmy throne. That was fine with me too. The year-in-reality montage was great.
In drama, Aaron Paul finally got an Emmy for his amazing portrayal of Jesse on Breaking Bad. I really can't argue with that, although Terry O'Quinn certainly deserved it as well for a mind-blowing final season as John Locke on Lost. And Archie Panjabi got the Emmy for her great role on The Good Wife as the hot and mysterious investigator. Bad speech though. "Great for my career"? Ouch.
Bryan Cranston snagged his third straight for Breaking Bad. You know I wanted Kyle Chandler or Michael C. Hall in this category, and maybe it's time for Cranston to pull a Bill Cosby and take himself out of the running to give the other guys a chance.
Kyra Sedgwick finally got the recognitition her Brenda Leigh Johnson deserves! Yay!
Then Jimmy sang farewell to 24, Law & Order and Lost. I had no idea Jimmy Fallon liked to sing so much.
Ahhh. And then Ricky Gervais arrived, like he always does, with that little smile, knowing that he is going to slay me. He is upset there is no liquor at the Emmys, and notes that there is no one in the crowd who will get drunk and cause trouble. Like, Russell Crowe. Or Mel Gibson. Oh, he says, I'm not going after Mel. He's been through a lot. (Pause). "Not as much as the Jews, to be fair." Genius.
Then he presents the Emmy for variety show directing, and he hopes the winner is someone named Bucky Gunts, who directed the Vancouver Olympics opening ceremony. "I hope it's Bucky Gunts, because I did not know that you could say that on TV," he notes. "We're all Bucky Gunts." And then the winner is ... Bucky Gunts, and Ricky is so happy.
And really, Hollywood? You had to show your liberal media bias and give the best variety show Emmy to Jon Stewart again? You could not throw Conan one little bone?
George Clooney, who was earlier very funny in a Modern Family skit, received the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award. He makes a good point about not forgetting the need once the cameras are gone. Happy 5th anniversary, New Orleans.
We get to mini-series and movies, and I've only seen two of these, including the Temple Grandin movie on HBO, and so I'm glad it won all that it did because it was really good. Claire Danes looks like she is 50 years old.
Al Pacino wins for playing Jack Kevorkian, and Jack Kevorkian was in the audience. I thought he was dead.
The Pacific, which I also saw, won best mini-series. Well-deserved.
Then Tom Selleck announced that Mad Men won best drama, and honestly, that almost wrecked all the good feelings I had built up over the last three hours, and then Ted Danson, looking like the Ghost of Christmas Present, announced that Modern Family had won best comedy, and I was almost all right.
What did you think?
But no. It was not a dream. It was all real, and thank you, academy, thank you for finally busting out of whatever hideous rut you were in and making some excellent choices.
Let's start from the beginning. When it became immediately clear that they were going with a Glee opening, I groaned. Actually out loud groaned. How obvious, I thought. But you know what? It was FABULOUS. The choice of Born to Run; the stars who participated (Tina Fey, Kate Gosselin with an actual sense of humor, Jon Hamm, Betty White, Jane Lynch, Hurley, I think the chick from Dollhouse, the dude from Community). When Tim Gunn came out I laughed out loud and when Randy Jackson appeared playing bass, I roared. Bravo.
They split the show up into its genre categories. By 8:47, we had blasted through comedy, giving awards to Eric Stonestreet (Cam in Modern Family), Jane Lynch for Glee, Jim Parsons for Big Bang Theory and Edie Falco for Nurse Jackie. All of those were so richly deserved (and what tough competition).
In the reality genre, Top Chef finally knocked Amazing Race off its Emmy throne. That was fine with me too. The year-in-reality montage was great.
In drama, Aaron Paul finally got an Emmy for his amazing portrayal of Jesse on Breaking Bad. I really can't argue with that, although Terry O'Quinn certainly deserved it as well for a mind-blowing final season as John Locke on Lost. And Archie Panjabi got the Emmy for her great role on The Good Wife as the hot and mysterious investigator. Bad speech though. "Great for my career"? Ouch.
Bryan Cranston snagged his third straight for Breaking Bad. You know I wanted Kyle Chandler or Michael C. Hall in this category, and maybe it's time for Cranston to pull a Bill Cosby and take himself out of the running to give the other guys a chance.
Kyra Sedgwick finally got the recognitition her Brenda Leigh Johnson deserves! Yay!
Then Jimmy sang farewell to 24, Law & Order and Lost. I had no idea Jimmy Fallon liked to sing so much.
Ahhh. And then Ricky Gervais arrived, like he always does, with that little smile, knowing that he is going to slay me. He is upset there is no liquor at the Emmys, and notes that there is no one in the crowd who will get drunk and cause trouble. Like, Russell Crowe. Or Mel Gibson. Oh, he says, I'm not going after Mel. He's been through a lot. (Pause). "Not as much as the Jews, to be fair." Genius.
Then he presents the Emmy for variety show directing, and he hopes the winner is someone named Bucky Gunts, who directed the Vancouver Olympics opening ceremony. "I hope it's Bucky Gunts, because I did not know that you could say that on TV," he notes. "We're all Bucky Gunts." And then the winner is ... Bucky Gunts, and Ricky is so happy.
And really, Hollywood? You had to show your liberal media bias and give the best variety show Emmy to Jon Stewart again? You could not throw Conan one little bone?
George Clooney, who was earlier very funny in a Modern Family skit, received the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award. He makes a good point about not forgetting the need once the cameras are gone. Happy 5th anniversary, New Orleans.
We get to mini-series and movies, and I've only seen two of these, including the Temple Grandin movie on HBO, and so I'm glad it won all that it did because it was really good. Claire Danes looks like she is 50 years old.
Al Pacino wins for playing Jack Kevorkian, and Jack Kevorkian was in the audience. I thought he was dead.
The Pacific, which I also saw, won best mini-series. Well-deserved.
Then Tom Selleck announced that Mad Men won best drama, and honestly, that almost wrecked all the good feelings I had built up over the last three hours, and then Ted Danson, looking like the Ghost of Christmas Present, announced that Modern Family had won best comedy, and I was almost all right.
What did you think?
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
America's Got Talent? Well, some of them anyway
So last night was the beginning of the end on America's Got Talent, and really, after all that - all the cities, all the auditions, all the buzzing, all the Howie - this was the best they could do?
I actually agree with Captain Germaphobe, when he said at the conclusion of the rather boring two hours that two performers stepped up delivered. As for the rest, well, as I like to say: meh.
I thought Michael Grimm did a somewhat good job with a song that required very little talent (You Can Leave Your Hat On, performed with overweight strippers in the background). At least he had tonality, and at least he made the notes. Oh, and the whole IV thing always adds drama.
The other one who was great - and may be a dark horse in this competition - was Prince Poppycock, who was wise enough to leave the opera behind and go mainstream with Bohemian Rhapsody. He really did give ol' Freddie Mercury a run for his money and that was terrific.
As for the rest - like I said, meh. Future Funk is cute but honestly, they can't dance. The fire magician is seriously the biggest fraud I've ever seen. That Goth magician was so lame I actually felt bad for him. The boy singer Taylor and the girl singer from YouTube and the cystic fibrosis sisters were all so off key that again, they evoked feelings of pity.
Even my sweet kite boy, Connor Doran, who was brought back by Howie in the wild card round, was disappointing. I'm not sure why, since I love that Fireflies song and I love that kid, but it was, dare I repeat myself? - meh.
The rock wall dancers were also not as good as they have been. And really, that woman needs to stop weeping.
As for the electric band nerd guys, well, I just don't get it. And I certainly would not pay money to watch them.
The ballroom dancers are quite good, but honestly, they creep me out. It's like they are 65 years old, trapped in tween bodies. Like in Cocoon.
I watched this show with my parents and sister last night since we are all on the Cape together, trapped in a monsoon, and their beloved Red Sox were finally, mercifully rained out. For two hours I endured endless mocking for being a fan of AGT. I guess based on the quality of last night's performances, the mocking was deserved. What did you think?
I actually agree with Captain Germaphobe, when he said at the conclusion of the rather boring two hours that two performers stepped up delivered. As for the rest, well, as I like to say: meh.
I thought Michael Grimm did a somewhat good job with a song that required very little talent (You Can Leave Your Hat On, performed with overweight strippers in the background). At least he had tonality, and at least he made the notes. Oh, and the whole IV thing always adds drama.
The other one who was great - and may be a dark horse in this competition - was Prince Poppycock, who was wise enough to leave the opera behind and go mainstream with Bohemian Rhapsody. He really did give ol' Freddie Mercury a run for his money and that was terrific.
As for the rest - like I said, meh. Future Funk is cute but honestly, they can't dance. The fire magician is seriously the biggest fraud I've ever seen. That Goth magician was so lame I actually felt bad for him. The boy singer Taylor and the girl singer from YouTube and the cystic fibrosis sisters were all so off key that again, they evoked feelings of pity.
Even my sweet kite boy, Connor Doran, who was brought back by Howie in the wild card round, was disappointing. I'm not sure why, since I love that Fireflies song and I love that kid, but it was, dare I repeat myself? - meh.
The rock wall dancers were also not as good as they have been. And really, that woman needs to stop weeping.
As for the electric band nerd guys, well, I just don't get it. And I certainly would not pay money to watch them.
The ballroom dancers are quite good, but honestly, they creep me out. It's like they are 65 years old, trapped in tween bodies. Like in Cocoon.
I watched this show with my parents and sister last night since we are all on the Cape together, trapped in a monsoon, and their beloved Red Sox were finally, mercifully rained out. For two hours I endured endless mocking for being a fan of AGT. I guess based on the quality of last night's performances, the mocking was deserved. What did you think?
Thursday, August 12, 2010
So You Think You Can Dance: They are all winners! No, really. They are.
OK, that was the best performance finale in the history of reality television talent competitions. And as prone to overstatement as you know I am, you know I'm right about that.
We open last night's show with the montage, the journey, the freaks and geeks and losers and those who at the time made us swoon but now we can't even remember their names. And then we get to it. Tonight the three finalists are each doing FOUR dances, which even by SYTYCD torture standards seems extreme. I expect there are IVs and oxygen tanks all over backstage.
Kent and all-star Lauren get Bollywood to start and I'm all, meh, because I am so over Bollywood and I still have the upsetting image of Billy's gay pride Bollywood from a couple of weeks ago burned into my brain. Luckily, Kent is wearing boy clothes and the story behind the dance is about a boy and a girl getting married - or something. Anyway, it's actually fun to watch.
Then Lauren and Twitch have a Nappy-Tab hip hop routine that is a presidential debate. I am not making that up. It is FABULOUS. Seriously. They turned a debate into dance. Lauren is so fun to watch with Twitch.
Robert and Mark get a Tyce jazz routine set to Devo. It's far more Frankie Say Relax than it is Whip It, but it is oddly mesmerizing, in part because they look like the same person.
Kent is interviewed by Cat, and then solos. I love Serious Solo Kent. I love his "finish line" bit at the end.
Then Lauren and Robert do a lovely contemporary with a pillow that is, well, honestly it's soothing. I feel at peace while watching it, and after the week I've been having, that's saying a lot.
Then Kent and Lauren have a Mandy Moore jazz routine that is really a Dork Duet, and the judges are correct that it is Mandy Lite but it is ridiculously fun and I love it. So there.
Robert's interview and solo. He really has turned into a different person over the course of this show.
Kent and Allison do a gorgeous Stacey Tookey contemporary about a couple breaking up and it really is breathtaking. Breathtaking. Kent is so overcome at the end, for real, I think, that this is the moment when whose who were on the fence about him are deciding they are going to text their brains out for him. Really magnificent. "I just want to dance." For once, Cat does not spoil the moment.
Lauren interview and solo. I am a fan.
Then Robert and Kathryn do this great Spencer routine that is very Basic Instinct on Kathryn's part and it is great. Great, great, great. Holy cow does she have legs. Robert too. Very hot.
Pasha and Lauren do the cha cha and really, I hope he was wearing a condom during that because I don't care what anyone says, they were having sex. Sex, sex, sex. She is strong and athletic, but she is so hot when she needs to be. She says she can't understand why the choreographers always want her to be a man eater. Honey, it's because they can see down into your soul, and you ARE a man eater. You're just too nice to know it.
Kent and Robert close the show with some sort of South American gangster dance that is part Argentine tango, part paso doble, and part World Wrestling Federation. It is fantabulous.
And then we are done, and I am sad because this season has been killer, killer, and I don't want it to end. I did not vote for anyone because who wins tonight is really a decision for King Solomon. I love all three of them. I think it will be Kent, but like Nigel, I'll be happy with whoever it is. How about you?
We open last night's show with the montage, the journey, the freaks and geeks and losers and those who at the time made us swoon but now we can't even remember their names. And then we get to it. Tonight the three finalists are each doing FOUR dances, which even by SYTYCD torture standards seems extreme. I expect there are IVs and oxygen tanks all over backstage.
Kent and all-star Lauren get Bollywood to start and I'm all, meh, because I am so over Bollywood and I still have the upsetting image of Billy's gay pride Bollywood from a couple of weeks ago burned into my brain. Luckily, Kent is wearing boy clothes and the story behind the dance is about a boy and a girl getting married - or something. Anyway, it's actually fun to watch.
Then Lauren and Twitch have a Nappy-Tab hip hop routine that is a presidential debate. I am not making that up. It is FABULOUS. Seriously. They turned a debate into dance. Lauren is so fun to watch with Twitch.
Robert and Mark get a Tyce jazz routine set to Devo. It's far more Frankie Say Relax than it is Whip It, but it is oddly mesmerizing, in part because they look like the same person.
Kent is interviewed by Cat, and then solos. I love Serious Solo Kent. I love his "finish line" bit at the end.
Then Lauren and Robert do a lovely contemporary with a pillow that is, well, honestly it's soothing. I feel at peace while watching it, and after the week I've been having, that's saying a lot.
Then Kent and Lauren have a Mandy Moore jazz routine that is really a Dork Duet, and the judges are correct that it is Mandy Lite but it is ridiculously fun and I love it. So there.
Robert's interview and solo. He really has turned into a different person over the course of this show.
Kent and Allison do a gorgeous Stacey Tookey contemporary about a couple breaking up and it really is breathtaking. Breathtaking. Kent is so overcome at the end, for real, I think, that this is the moment when whose who were on the fence about him are deciding they are going to text their brains out for him. Really magnificent. "I just want to dance." For once, Cat does not spoil the moment.
Lauren interview and solo. I am a fan.
Then Robert and Kathryn do this great Spencer routine that is very Basic Instinct on Kathryn's part and it is great. Great, great, great. Holy cow does she have legs. Robert too. Very hot.
Pasha and Lauren do the cha cha and really, I hope he was wearing a condom during that because I don't care what anyone says, they were having sex. Sex, sex, sex. She is strong and athletic, but she is so hot when she needs to be. She says she can't understand why the choreographers always want her to be a man eater. Honey, it's because they can see down into your soul, and you ARE a man eater. You're just too nice to know it.
Kent and Robert close the show with some sort of South American gangster dance that is part Argentine tango, part paso doble, and part World Wrestling Federation. It is fantabulous.
And then we are done, and I am sad because this season has been killer, killer, and I don't want it to end. I did not vote for anyone because who wins tonight is really a decision for King Solomon. I love all three of them. I think it will be Kent, but like Nigel, I'll be happy with whoever it is. How about you?
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Friday Night Lights: Thanksgiving, indeed
Last night was the network season finale of Friday Night Lights on NBC. Our friends who have DirectTV already know how the gang in Dillon fared, since they saw it last fall. For my cable friends who have yet to catch the episode because they were out enjoying last night's spectacular summer evening, stop reading now. Starting in the next graph, there are spoilers galore.
OK. Seriously. Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose? My eyes were full last night, friends, full and then brimming over, as storyline after storyline was wrapped for what is likely this drama's penultimate season.
I want to get to the most emotional one first, our dear sweet Tim Riggins, but I'm going to save that for last, because that's what seems like the right thing to do.
So let's start with football, OK? The Cat Collision or the Cat Crash or the Cat Fight, whatever they were calling the Lions vs. the Panthers, the ramp up to the big Friday night game - the day after Thanksgiving - that was all great. Vince's self-doubt, Coach Taylor's super-steely resolve, Luke, the continuous shots of the pillaged Lions' field, the Thanksgiving morning practice. Fabulous.
And then the game. Tanker's touchdown hearkened back to Coach Taylor's Hail Mary days during Season 1, when Dillon won the state championship. Bringing Luke in. Landry and the failure followed by the epic success. I guess I knew in my heart that good (Lions) would triumph over evil (Panthers) but still ...
Now let's have Thanksgiving. The awkward dinner hosted by the Taylors, which was like The Ragamuffins Get-Together, was solidified beautifully by Billy's even more awkward "toast," which was really an apology, to Mindy and most especially to Tim, for being the big dumb stupid loser that he is. You could watch the wheels turning in Tim's head through this entire episode, a testament to Taylor Kitsch's acting ability.
Matt comes back, makes amends, Julie makes the first grown-up decision of her life, and Landry finds a way out of town. Poor Landry. I know in Chicago he will meet the right girl.
Jess loves Vince, Vince loves Jess, Vince succeeds at football, Vince's mom is clean. But I'm guessing there's more trouble around the corner for these folks.
Tami doesn't sell out, she finds a way out, Mr. and Mrs. Coach will be working together again, they are awesome, awesomer, awesomest as a couple, God I love them. I was worried for them this season, but strong and silent prevailed.
And then Tim. Dear sweet Tim, who always does whatever his friends or his family need him to do; the king of stepping up to the plate and then somehow stepping in something bad on the other side. No matter who it's been, Jason, Lyla, Tyra, Matt, Billy ... Tim does the right thing. Last night, he sent himself to prison so Billy could be with his family.
Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose. Full eyes, clear hearts, can't lose. Amen, Friday Night Lights. Amen.
OK. Seriously. Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose? My eyes were full last night, friends, full and then brimming over, as storyline after storyline was wrapped for what is likely this drama's penultimate season.
I want to get to the most emotional one first, our dear sweet Tim Riggins, but I'm going to save that for last, because that's what seems like the right thing to do.
So let's start with football, OK? The Cat Collision or the Cat Crash or the Cat Fight, whatever they were calling the Lions vs. the Panthers, the ramp up to the big Friday night game - the day after Thanksgiving - that was all great. Vince's self-doubt, Coach Taylor's super-steely resolve, Luke, the continuous shots of the pillaged Lions' field, the Thanksgiving morning practice. Fabulous.
And then the game. Tanker's touchdown hearkened back to Coach Taylor's Hail Mary days during Season 1, when Dillon won the state championship. Bringing Luke in. Landry and the failure followed by the epic success. I guess I knew in my heart that good (Lions) would triumph over evil (Panthers) but still ...
Now let's have Thanksgiving. The awkward dinner hosted by the Taylors, which was like The Ragamuffins Get-Together, was solidified beautifully by Billy's even more awkward "toast," which was really an apology, to Mindy and most especially to Tim, for being the big dumb stupid loser that he is. You could watch the wheels turning in Tim's head through this entire episode, a testament to Taylor Kitsch's acting ability.
Matt comes back, makes amends, Julie makes the first grown-up decision of her life, and Landry finds a way out of town. Poor Landry. I know in Chicago he will meet the right girl.
Jess loves Vince, Vince loves Jess, Vince succeeds at football, Vince's mom is clean. But I'm guessing there's more trouble around the corner for these folks.
Tami doesn't sell out, she finds a way out, Mr. and Mrs. Coach will be working together again, they are awesome, awesomer, awesomest as a couple, God I love them. I was worried for them this season, but strong and silent prevailed.
And then Tim. Dear sweet Tim, who always does whatever his friends or his family need him to do; the king of stepping up to the plate and then somehow stepping in something bad on the other side. No matter who it's been, Jason, Lyla, Tyra, Matt, Billy ... Tim does the right thing. Last night, he sent himself to prison so Billy could be with his family.
Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose. Full eyes, clear hearts, can't lose. Amen, Friday Night Lights. Amen.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
So You Think You Can Dance: Bye, bye Adechike
Last night's So You Think You Can Dance reinforced all my beliefs of this season - except one - and underscored my desire to smack Mia Michaels in the head. Except now I'd like to use Tyce D'Orio to do it. Seriously, can those two just go back to junior high and start over?
The one belief I have that got a tad shaky last night during the Top 4's performances is that the final two will be Lauren and Kent. Of course it will be Kent (and he will win) but now I'm not so sure about Lauren. After Robert's two great dances last night - and the judges' near unanimous swooning every time - I'm thinking the gangly "prince" might just be giving Lauren a run for her money.
Of course tonight we will say goodbye to Adechike. The judges tolled his bell after his second performance, and his tearful and heartful expression of gratitude showed that he knows it too ... and is fine with it.
While I agree that it is an excellent top 4, I did not think it was excellence across the board last night. Let's review, shall we?
We open with a group Tyce Broadway number - Guys and Dolls, except there was only Lauren. Meh.
Then Lauren and Pasha got a tango choreographed by a skinny and shiny couple, both of whom may have been named Leonardo. This dance was sloooooooow. And while I agree that it was great the way they were locked into each other, I sort of started equating sloooooow with booooooring. Judges swooned. Pasha is so hot when he dances and so not really hot when he just stands there. Kind of like Ellen Barkin.
Then we see what Lauren was like in high school, which is exactly like she is now.
Adechike and Lauren (all-star version Lauren) get an Afro-Jazz-Caribbean routine. The first half is OK, the second half is better and Mia again makes up a new word during her take-down of Adechike: "celebrational." Mia: You are an idiot.
Robert and Anya get a Viennese waltz choreographed by my beloved Jonathan Roberts from Dancing with the Stars!!! What!!! Yes!!!! Jonathan has put on a few pounds since DWTS, but he works magic with these two. As hot as I did not think Lauren's tango was, I think this waltz is. A hot waltz! Have you ever heard of such a thing? Fabulous.
Then we learn that Robert thinks his dumb stepdad is hilarious and he lives with the manly Channing from season 6. It's a small world.
Kent and Courtney get a Doriana Sanchez disco routine, and this worries me because I'm not sure Kent can do this. Luckily, Doriana dumbs it down a bit in terms of the insanity (which Nigel calls her out on) but there is still enough death-defying stuff to make it fun to watch. That last spin when he had her on his shoulders was something.
Then we learn that Kent is very Ohio and once loved soccer.
Lauren and Ade get a Sean Cheeseman jazz routine and all I can say is holy crap. Holy crap to her outfit. Holy crap to those moves. Holy, holy crap. That was amazing.
Adechike and Kathryn get a Desmond and Dwight routine and we certainly know this was not an accident, since Adechike has already told us Desmond is why he dances. It is nice they did this for him, and it's nice that Double D choreographed their routine just for Adechike. It's kind of a mess, but in a good way. I could watch that guy jump all day long.
Then we learn that Adechike grew up in a Spike Lee movie, and it was tough.
Then Robert and Dominick get a Nappy Tab routine that involves angry clowns. FABULOUS. Seriously. How great was that? Magnificent. This is why I think Robert might squeak his way into the finale. He is peaking at the right time.
When we think it can't get any better, Travis Wall does a a contemporary for Neil and Kent that is the closest man-to-man dancing ever on this show, and yet it is so masculine as to be breathtaking. I love this about SYTYCD this year - the embracing of same-sex dancing. This routine is spine-tingling. And luckily for us, it renders Mia wordless.
So, I have been saying Lauren and Kent for weeks, but now I'm thinking Robert and Kent, and of course Kent is going to win, win, win. What do you think?
The one belief I have that got a tad shaky last night during the Top 4's performances is that the final two will be Lauren and Kent. Of course it will be Kent (and he will win) but now I'm not so sure about Lauren. After Robert's two great dances last night - and the judges' near unanimous swooning every time - I'm thinking the gangly "prince" might just be giving Lauren a run for her money.
Of course tonight we will say goodbye to Adechike. The judges tolled his bell after his second performance, and his tearful and heartful expression of gratitude showed that he knows it too ... and is fine with it.
While I agree that it is an excellent top 4, I did not think it was excellence across the board last night. Let's review, shall we?
We open with a group Tyce Broadway number - Guys and Dolls, except there was only Lauren. Meh.
Then Lauren and Pasha got a tango choreographed by a skinny and shiny couple, both of whom may have been named Leonardo. This dance was sloooooooow. And while I agree that it was great the way they were locked into each other, I sort of started equating sloooooow with booooooring. Judges swooned. Pasha is so hot when he dances and so not really hot when he just stands there. Kind of like Ellen Barkin.
Then we see what Lauren was like in high school, which is exactly like she is now.
Adechike and Lauren (all-star version Lauren) get an Afro-Jazz-Caribbean routine. The first half is OK, the second half is better and Mia again makes up a new word during her take-down of Adechike: "celebrational." Mia: You are an idiot.
Robert and Anya get a Viennese waltz choreographed by my beloved Jonathan Roberts from Dancing with the Stars!!! What!!! Yes!!!! Jonathan has put on a few pounds since DWTS, but he works magic with these two. As hot as I did not think Lauren's tango was, I think this waltz is. A hot waltz! Have you ever heard of such a thing? Fabulous.
Then we learn that Robert thinks his dumb stepdad is hilarious and he lives with the manly Channing from season 6. It's a small world.
Kent and Courtney get a Doriana Sanchez disco routine, and this worries me because I'm not sure Kent can do this. Luckily, Doriana dumbs it down a bit in terms of the insanity (which Nigel calls her out on) but there is still enough death-defying stuff to make it fun to watch. That last spin when he had her on his shoulders was something.
Then we learn that Kent is very Ohio and once loved soccer.
Lauren and Ade get a Sean Cheeseman jazz routine and all I can say is holy crap. Holy crap to her outfit. Holy crap to those moves. Holy, holy crap. That was amazing.
Adechike and Kathryn get a Desmond and Dwight routine and we certainly know this was not an accident, since Adechike has already told us Desmond is why he dances. It is nice they did this for him, and it's nice that Double D choreographed their routine just for Adechike. It's kind of a mess, but in a good way. I could watch that guy jump all day long.
Then we learn that Adechike grew up in a Spike Lee movie, and it was tough.
Then Robert and Dominick get a Nappy Tab routine that involves angry clowns. FABULOUS. Seriously. How great was that? Magnificent. This is why I think Robert might squeak his way into the finale. He is peaking at the right time.
When we think it can't get any better, Travis Wall does a a contemporary for Neil and Kent that is the closest man-to-man dancing ever on this show, and yet it is so masculine as to be breathtaking. I love this about SYTYCD this year - the embracing of same-sex dancing. This routine is spine-tingling. And luckily for us, it renders Mia wordless.
So, I have been saying Lauren and Kent for weeks, but now I'm thinking Robert and Kent, and of course Kent is going to win, win, win. What do you think?
Thursday, July 29, 2010
So You Think You Can Dance: Parting will be such sweet sorrow
As frustrating and annoying as last season’s So You Think You Can Dance was, this season is fabulous and thrilling. My goodness what dancing. What nice kids. And what lunacy on the judges’ panel.
Last night, the six dancers had an all-star pairing, an each-other pairing, and a solo. I loved almost all of it. Let’s begin.
Guest judge tonight is the terrifying Amazonian ballroom expert Toni Redpath. Everything about this woman scares me. I’d love to put her and Cat Deeley into a steel cage and watch what happens.
First up is Kent and Anya, doing a Jean-Marc and France cha cha. This will be Kent’s second cha cha. In the first one, if you recall, Anya won. This time around, that clever Jean-Marc and the almost-always-silent France have cleverly created a dance in which Kent is supposed to be all naïve and young and inexperienced, and Hot-For-Teacher Anya is going to show him a thing or two. Except by the end of this most excellent routine (already downloading that song), Kent comes out on … top. Fabulous.
And now is when we pause to say, Mia Michaels, PLEASE SHUT UP. Seriously, you and your obsession with Kent’s facial expressions. Did you see Anya’s face during this routine? Half the time she looked like was at the dentist’s office, awaiting treatment for something painful. The depths of my dislike for Mia Michaels grows and grows.
Robert and the ever more lovely Kathryn get a Stacey Tookie contemporary about going off to war (big twist at the end – it’s the girl who leaves!). This was really gorgeous, but if we are going to be honest, it was because of Kathryn. Nigel talks about Robert’s amazing growth this season, which is in direct conflict with what he said last week about Robert not growing enough, which simply proves my point that really, the judges are full of crap.
Jose does an awesome solo. I love this kid. Not as much as my Legacy, but I love him.
Adechike and Courtney do an amazing Tyce jazz number that is just fabulously insane, and Adam Shankman loves it so much that he calls it “balls out dancing” and then realizes he is not supposed to say that on live TV. The guy manning the 3-second delay bleep button was immediately fired, I’m guessing.
Lauren does a solo that is both restrained and powerful and just beautiful. Final two, baby.
Jose and Comfort do a hip hop number by a couple Who Are Not Nappy-Tabs, and it’s set to Otis Redding and it is a blast to watch. Mia Michaels again proves she is utterly worthless. Dear Mia: Please get a real vocabulary. There are CDs you can buy. Best part? When Cat said to Jose, “Just don’t worry about it.”
Billy does a solo, Kent does a solo (to my beloved Elliott Yamin!!!). Because of the horrendous camera work (why do they bother with dress rehearsals and blocking?) I missed the little gimmick at the end of Billy’s dance, and had to go back after Cat mentioned it. Oh, and Kent will win.
Lauren and Allison do a Tyce Broadway number, it’s the first hot girl-on-girl action ever on SYTYCD, and I am underwhelmed because I am not a fan of Broadway in general.
The best part of this whole number is that Nigel refers to the show as American Idol, which Cat points out, and which is hilarious because it came out this week that Nigel might be going back to Idol, and he’d like to fire all the judges. Ha! Paging Dr. Freud.
Robert does a solo. He’s going home tonight.
Billy and Ade get a Stacey contemporary, about a business man and a homeless man, which Phil Collins once wrote a pop song about, and in the beginning there is so much going on, dancing-wise, that it’s almost too much. But then when they come together as partners, it is gorgeous.
Adechike solos. That guy can jump higher than anyone.
Jose and Kent get a Spencer Liff Broadway number, and I like this, they are two guys just girl watching on the street and it fits them perfectly. I love these two together. When Jose goes home tonight, I’m going to be sad.
Lauren and Adechike do a Jean-Marc and Silent France fox trot which I find very dull.
Then Billy and Robert close the show with Bollywood, which, ugh to begin with, I am so over this genre. Secondly, remember when Twitch and Joshua did that Russian number together and it was so masculine and awesome and magnificent? This was none of that. The judges swoon. I am blinded by all the sequins and, well, all that they imply and I hate it.
So, I think Robert and Jose will go home. I wish it were Billy and Robert, but I don’t think it will be. How about you? What do you think?
Last night, the six dancers had an all-star pairing, an each-other pairing, and a solo. I loved almost all of it. Let’s begin.
Guest judge tonight is the terrifying Amazonian ballroom expert Toni Redpath. Everything about this woman scares me. I’d love to put her and Cat Deeley into a steel cage and watch what happens.
First up is Kent and Anya, doing a Jean-Marc and France cha cha. This will be Kent’s second cha cha. In the first one, if you recall, Anya won. This time around, that clever Jean-Marc and the almost-always-silent France have cleverly created a dance in which Kent is supposed to be all naïve and young and inexperienced, and Hot-For-Teacher Anya is going to show him a thing or two. Except by the end of this most excellent routine (already downloading that song), Kent comes out on … top. Fabulous.
And now is when we pause to say, Mia Michaels, PLEASE SHUT UP. Seriously, you and your obsession with Kent’s facial expressions. Did you see Anya’s face during this routine? Half the time she looked like was at the dentist’s office, awaiting treatment for something painful. The depths of my dislike for Mia Michaels grows and grows.
Robert and the ever more lovely Kathryn get a Stacey Tookie contemporary about going off to war (big twist at the end – it’s the girl who leaves!). This was really gorgeous, but if we are going to be honest, it was because of Kathryn. Nigel talks about Robert’s amazing growth this season, which is in direct conflict with what he said last week about Robert not growing enough, which simply proves my point that really, the judges are full of crap.
Jose does an awesome solo. I love this kid. Not as much as my Legacy, but I love him.
Adechike and Courtney do an amazing Tyce jazz number that is just fabulously insane, and Adam Shankman loves it so much that he calls it “balls out dancing” and then realizes he is not supposed to say that on live TV. The guy manning the 3-second delay bleep button was immediately fired, I’m guessing.
Lauren does a solo that is both restrained and powerful and just beautiful. Final two, baby.
Jose and Comfort do a hip hop number by a couple Who Are Not Nappy-Tabs, and it’s set to Otis Redding and it is a blast to watch. Mia Michaels again proves she is utterly worthless. Dear Mia: Please get a real vocabulary. There are CDs you can buy. Best part? When Cat said to Jose, “Just don’t worry about it.”
Billy does a solo, Kent does a solo (to my beloved Elliott Yamin!!!). Because of the horrendous camera work (why do they bother with dress rehearsals and blocking?) I missed the little gimmick at the end of Billy’s dance, and had to go back after Cat mentioned it. Oh, and Kent will win.
Lauren and Allison do a Tyce Broadway number, it’s the first hot girl-on-girl action ever on SYTYCD, and I am underwhelmed because I am not a fan of Broadway in general.
The best part of this whole number is that Nigel refers to the show as American Idol, which Cat points out, and which is hilarious because it came out this week that Nigel might be going back to Idol, and he’d like to fire all the judges. Ha! Paging Dr. Freud.
Robert does a solo. He’s going home tonight.
Billy and Ade get a Stacey contemporary, about a business man and a homeless man, which Phil Collins once wrote a pop song about, and in the beginning there is so much going on, dancing-wise, that it’s almost too much. But then when they come together as partners, it is gorgeous.
Adechike solos. That guy can jump higher than anyone.
Jose and Kent get a Spencer Liff Broadway number, and I like this, they are two guys just girl watching on the street and it fits them perfectly. I love these two together. When Jose goes home tonight, I’m going to be sad.
Lauren and Adechike do a Jean-Marc and Silent France fox trot which I find very dull.
Then Billy and Robert close the show with Bollywood, which, ugh to begin with, I am so over this genre. Secondly, remember when Twitch and Joshua did that Russian number together and it was so masculine and awesome and magnificent? This was none of that. The judges swoon. I am blinded by all the sequins and, well, all that they imply and I hate it.
So, I think Robert and Jose will go home. I wish it were Billy and Robert, but I don’t think it will be. How about you? What do you think?
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The Closer: Meet the new boss ...
As Brenda Leigh herself would say: Oh my ...
The new season of The Closer (technically, this is the sixth season, although it's only been five years; cable math is not like regular math) certainly got thing going with an aptly named episode The Big Bang. It wasn't the crime our favorite major case squad was looking into, though. It was the last two minutes, when everyone learned that Chief Pope wants to be the chief of the entire department. Hmmmm.
Of course the second episode did what The Closer always does: got better and more complicated and raised the stakes even higher, and then in those last two minutes, smacked us again with ah great twist. A California-earthquake-level twist: Maybe Brenda should be the chief of the entire department. Hmmmm, squared.
And then last night, the third episode, which involved a really terrible crime (quintessential Closer really, in that many lives were ruined, not just the victim's) and all kinds of Brenda issues: Brenda keeping the idea secret from Fritz (never a good idea), Brenda keeping the idea secret from Pope, and Brenda torturing herself with the thought of leaving behind her beloved squad. Not because her squad is beloved so much, but more because she knows nobody would care for it the way she does. Nobody except her well-trained Gabriel, of course, and he's not eligible.
So six seasons in and we really have to give the show's writers a giant shout out for coming up with this most welcome of twists: Brenda toying with the idea of betraying Pope, worrying about what the nefarious commander would do, wondering if she wants to continue to be Pope's Number 2 or make him her Number 2, agonizing over the idea of leaving behind crime solving and becoming a bureaucrat.
The strengths of this show from the day it arrived on TNT are its ability to mix the dark with the light, its ability to first create and then sustain a cast of characters who are believable in their lives and in their interactions, and a constant stream of plots that are both compelling and upsetting. Season Six is so far showing itself to be no exception.
How about you? Should Brenda become chief? Should she make Fritz head of Major Case? Would Pope and Taylor join forces to try and destroy her if she were chief? Would you still watch if Brenda were no longer on the streets, solving crimes and closing cases?
The new season of The Closer (technically, this is the sixth season, although it's only been five years; cable math is not like regular math) certainly got thing going with an aptly named episode The Big Bang. It wasn't the crime our favorite major case squad was looking into, though. It was the last two minutes, when everyone learned that Chief Pope wants to be the chief of the entire department. Hmmmm.
Of course the second episode did what The Closer always does: got better and more complicated and raised the stakes even higher, and then in those last two minutes, smacked us again with ah great twist. A California-earthquake-level twist: Maybe Brenda should be the chief of the entire department. Hmmmm, squared.
And then last night, the third episode, which involved a really terrible crime (quintessential Closer really, in that many lives were ruined, not just the victim's) and all kinds of Brenda issues: Brenda keeping the idea secret from Fritz (never a good idea), Brenda keeping the idea secret from Pope, and Brenda torturing herself with the thought of leaving behind her beloved squad. Not because her squad is beloved so much, but more because she knows nobody would care for it the way she does. Nobody except her well-trained Gabriel, of course, and he's not eligible.
So six seasons in and we really have to give the show's writers a giant shout out for coming up with this most welcome of twists: Brenda toying with the idea of betraying Pope, worrying about what the nefarious commander would do, wondering if she wants to continue to be Pope's Number 2 or make him her Number 2, agonizing over the idea of leaving behind crime solving and becoming a bureaucrat.
The strengths of this show from the day it arrived on TNT are its ability to mix the dark with the light, its ability to first create and then sustain a cast of characters who are believable in their lives and in their interactions, and a constant stream of plots that are both compelling and upsetting. Season Six is so far showing itself to be no exception.
How about you? Should Brenda become chief? Should she make Fritz head of Major Case? Would Pope and Taylor join forces to try and destroy her if she were chief? Would you still watch if Brenda were no longer on the streets, solving crimes and closing cases?
Monday, July 26, 2010
My Boys: Speaking each other's unspoken language
So we have some bad news and some good news with last night's return of the tbs sitcom My Boys (a double-dose return, no less!).
The bad news is that Jim Gaffigan, that hilarious King of the Deadpan Delivery stand-up comic/actor, has apparently left the show. Booo. I love Gaffigan in general, and I particularly loved him as PJ's brother Andy, the official Eeyore of this merry group of pals.
The good news is that even without Gaffigan, My Boys came back for its fourth season just as funny as ever.
If you aren't familiar with the summertime tbs staple, the premise is this: PJ is a lovely young woman in her 20s who lives in Chicago and is a sportswriter by trade. She is a grown-up tomboy.
Around her is her college roommate and BFF Steph, who is also PJ's polar opposite in that she is a complete girlie-girl. And yet, they work. Her other best friend from college is the adorable Brendan, who is PJ's current roommate. He's kind of a slacker, notch-on-the-bedpost kind of guy, but relatively harmless.
Rounding out the troupe are Kenny and Mike, who together own and run a sports novelty shop and lend the show its sort of Marx Brothers element.
And lastly is Bobby, a fellow sportswriter, closet rich guy, and as of last season, PJ's boyfriend. Oh, and in last season's cliffhanger, Steph and Kenny hooked up.
As we opened this season last night, the gang was trying to deal with Andy's departure and how it affected their weekly poker game. They needed to find a substitute. Of course that turned out to be impossible, because as Steph rightly pointed out, this group is damn near impenetrable by outsiders. As they say in The Sure Thing: They speak each other's unspoken language. Fluently.
In the second episode that aired, the sitcom proved its ability to make me laugh out loud. As Brendan and Mike headed out for an adult night on the town, the other four ended up getting stoned out of their gourds in PJ's apartment. My goodness there were a lot of great throw-away lines in that 24 minutes.
So there you have it. I am happy to have this show back, as summertime is abysmal in terms of sitcoms. Other than this, I only have Hot in Cleveland to make me laugh. Well that and my attempts to remain cool in all this heat. Some of those are pretty hilarious as well.
How about you? Find anything funny on TV these days?
The bad news is that Jim Gaffigan, that hilarious King of the Deadpan Delivery stand-up comic/actor, has apparently left the show. Booo. I love Gaffigan in general, and I particularly loved him as PJ's brother Andy, the official Eeyore of this merry group of pals.
The good news is that even without Gaffigan, My Boys came back for its fourth season just as funny as ever.
If you aren't familiar with the summertime tbs staple, the premise is this: PJ is a lovely young woman in her 20s who lives in Chicago and is a sportswriter by trade. She is a grown-up tomboy.
Around her is her college roommate and BFF Steph, who is also PJ's polar opposite in that she is a complete girlie-girl. And yet, they work. Her other best friend from college is the adorable Brendan, who is PJ's current roommate. He's kind of a slacker, notch-on-the-bedpost kind of guy, but relatively harmless.
Rounding out the troupe are Kenny and Mike, who together own and run a sports novelty shop and lend the show its sort of Marx Brothers element.
And lastly is Bobby, a fellow sportswriter, closet rich guy, and as of last season, PJ's boyfriend. Oh, and in last season's cliffhanger, Steph and Kenny hooked up.
As we opened this season last night, the gang was trying to deal with Andy's departure and how it affected their weekly poker game. They needed to find a substitute. Of course that turned out to be impossible, because as Steph rightly pointed out, this group is damn near impenetrable by outsiders. As they say in The Sure Thing: They speak each other's unspoken language. Fluently.
In the second episode that aired, the sitcom proved its ability to make me laugh out loud. As Brendan and Mike headed out for an adult night on the town, the other four ended up getting stoned out of their gourds in PJ's apartment. My goodness there were a lot of great throw-away lines in that 24 minutes.
So there you have it. I am happy to have this show back, as summertime is abysmal in terms of sitcoms. Other than this, I only have Hot in Cleveland to make me laugh. Well that and my attempts to remain cool in all this heat. Some of those are pretty hilarious as well.
How about you? Find anything funny on TV these days?
Friday, July 23, 2010
So You Think You Can Dance: Making it up as they go along
Last night's So You Think You Can Dance "ouster" episode had no ouster, which they all tried to paint as so shocking and brave and crazy, but really, American Idol et all has pulled this trick so many times that as far as I was concerned, it wasn't *if* SYTYCD would do it, it was *when.*
The bottom three was composed of Jose and Robert based on votes, and Billy based on weenieness. Having injured his knee and then been cleared for dancing by doctors and then opting out of dancing puts Billy in the Permanent Dog House (as opposed to the warm and snuggly Cat House) for me.
This really is a brutal season in terms of ousters at this point because they are all so great in their own ways. It took me a while to get used to the All-Star aspect and the fact there were only 10 instead of 20, but I like it now. There is some kick-ass dancing going on here.
So the judges were all "oooo, look what we did" when Nigel announced that no one would go home, and next week two will shuffle off stage left instead. Honestly, I would've booted Billy, but I do see their point.
As for the two dance-for-your-life solos that we had last night, Jose was the clear winner, as Robert opted to redo his solo from the Wednesday night performance show, while our B-Boy whipped out an entirely new routine that involved cool trick after cool trick. Seriously, he set that stage on fire.
And as for Nigel's statement to both Jose and Robert about their lack of growth? Whut? Did you see Jose do the Sonya routine on the edge of the stage? That was fabulous. And while I agree that the paso doble was weird in that it was both hetero-erotic and homo-erotic at the same time, I think he more than held his own with the far-more-technically-proficient Adechike on that. And Robert is already so great, so tall and long and lanky and bendable and personable.
But I still maintain that all of the above points are moot, as the final two will be Lauren and Kent, and Kent will win in what will be the biggest landslide in SYTYCD history.
What do you think?
The bottom three was composed of Jose and Robert based on votes, and Billy based on weenieness. Having injured his knee and then been cleared for dancing by doctors and then opting out of dancing puts Billy in the Permanent Dog House (as opposed to the warm and snuggly Cat House) for me.
This really is a brutal season in terms of ousters at this point because they are all so great in their own ways. It took me a while to get used to the All-Star aspect and the fact there were only 10 instead of 20, but I like it now. There is some kick-ass dancing going on here.
So the judges were all "oooo, look what we did" when Nigel announced that no one would go home, and next week two will shuffle off stage left instead. Honestly, I would've booted Billy, but I do see their point.
As for the two dance-for-your-life solos that we had last night, Jose was the clear winner, as Robert opted to redo his solo from the Wednesday night performance show, while our B-Boy whipped out an entirely new routine that involved cool trick after cool trick. Seriously, he set that stage on fire.
And as for Nigel's statement to both Jose and Robert about their lack of growth? Whut? Did you see Jose do the Sonya routine on the edge of the stage? That was fabulous. And while I agree that the paso doble was weird in that it was both hetero-erotic and homo-erotic at the same time, I think he more than held his own with the far-more-technically-proficient Adechike on that. And Robert is already so great, so tall and long and lanky and bendable and personable.
But I still maintain that all of the above points are moot, as the final two will be Lauren and Kent, and Kent will win in what will be the biggest landslide in SYTYCD history.
What do you think?
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Ladies and gentlemen ...
Meet the new blog.
Two quick things: 1. Billy Bell needs to go home on SYTYCD, because really, when the docs clear you to dance, you dance. Sitting out is not an option. On the other hand, how great was Twitch at that stepping thing (and Nigel's tiny little ego got the best of him, with his hissy fit about Five Guys Name Moe, a routine from three seasons ago, being stepping).
2. I cannot believe that on America's Got Talent, Howie chose that poser magician/fire bug Antonio over that awesome street dance troupe Wreckless. And Michael Grimm? Put the hat back on buddy. Yeesh.
So there we go. I'm up and running. Tell all your friends. Share the link. It's grassroots now, kids, but it's the same old fun and games.
Two quick things: 1. Billy Bell needs to go home on SYTYCD, because really, when the docs clear you to dance, you dance. Sitting out is not an option. On the other hand, how great was Twitch at that stepping thing (and Nigel's tiny little ego got the best of him, with his hissy fit about Five Guys Name Moe, a routine from three seasons ago, being stepping).
2. I cannot believe that on America's Got Talent, Howie chose that poser magician/fire bug Antonio over that awesome street dance troupe Wreckless. And Michael Grimm? Put the hat back on buddy. Yeesh.
So there we go. I'm up and running. Tell all your friends. Share the link. It's grassroots now, kids, but it's the same old fun and games.
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