So You Think You Can Dance: They are all winners! No, really. They are.

OK, that was the best performance finale in the history of reality television talent competitions. And as prone to overstatement as you know I am, you know I'm right about that.

We open last night's show with the montage, the journey, the freaks and geeks and losers and those who at the time made us swoon but now we can't even remember their names. And then we get to it. Tonight the three finalists are each doing FOUR dances, which even by SYTYCD torture standards seems extreme. I expect there are IVs and oxygen tanks all over backstage.

Kent and all-star Lauren get Bollywood to start and I'm all, meh, because I am so over Bollywood and I still have the upsetting image of Billy's gay pride Bollywood from a couple of weeks ago burned into my brain. Luckily, Kent is wearing boy clothes and the story behind the dance is about a boy and a girl getting married - or something. Anyway, it's actually fun to watch.

Then Lauren and Twitch have a Nappy-Tab hip hop routine that is a presidential debate. I am not making that up. It is FABULOUS. Seriously. They turned a debate into dance. Lauren is so fun to watch with Twitch.

Robert and Mark get a Tyce jazz routine set to Devo. It's far more Frankie Say Relax than it is Whip It, but it is oddly mesmerizing, in part because they look like the same person.

Kent is interviewed by Cat, and then solos. I love Serious Solo Kent. I love his "finish line" bit at the end.

Then Lauren and Robert do a lovely contemporary with a pillow that is, well, honestly it's soothing. I feel at peace while watching it, and after the week I've been having, that's saying a lot.

Then Kent and Lauren have a Mandy Moore jazz routine that is really a Dork Duet, and the judges are correct that it is Mandy Lite but it is ridiculously fun and I love it. So there.

Robert's interview and solo. He really has turned into a different person over the course of this show.

Kent and Allison do a gorgeous Stacey Tookey contemporary about a couple breaking up and it really is breathtaking. Breathtaking. Kent is so overcome at the end, for real, I think, that this is the moment when whose who were on the fence about him are deciding they are going to text their brains out for him. Really magnificent. "I just want to dance." For once, Cat does not spoil the moment.

Lauren interview and solo. I am a fan.

Then Robert and Kathryn do this great Spencer routine that is very Basic Instinct on Kathryn's part and it is great. Great, great, great. Holy cow does she have legs. Robert too. Very hot.

Pasha and Lauren do the cha cha and really, I hope he was wearing a condom during that because I don't care what anyone says, they were having sex. Sex, sex, sex. She is strong and athletic, but she is so hot when she needs to be. She says she can't understand why the choreographers always want her to be a man eater. Honey, it's because they can see down into your soul, and you ARE a man eater. You're just too nice to know it.

Kent and Robert close the show with some sort of South American gangster dance that is part Argentine tango, part paso doble, and part World Wrestling Federation. It is fantabulous.

And then we are done, and I am sad because this season has been killer, killer, and I don't want it to end. I did not vote for anyone because who wins tonight is really a decision for King Solomon. I love all three of them. I think it will be Kent, but like Nigel, I'll be happy with whoever it is. How about you?