Just for the record, I voted five times for Kyle Massey on Dancing with the Stars: just now. That's right. Cast my five ballots at 6:13 a.m. Why, you ask? Because last night I could not get through on the phone lines and the website did not work. Can you say right wing conspiracy?
Of course I kid. About the conspiracy, I mean. Sort of.
But it's been that kind of season on DWTS, with the Hoff and Michael Bolton starting things off with massive public humiliation, Bristol Palin turning into Taylor Hicks about halfway through, Brandy getting the biggest comeuppance of her comeback, and a B-list Disney tween star named Kyle becoming a national hero.
Or maybe it's Jennifer Grey's transformation into someone who actually likes being in the spotlight. I don't know. All I know is, this is crazy. Like Melanie Griffith in the house-level crazy.
Two dances last night: the Redemption dance chosen by the judges and then the awesome freestyle. Tonight they will each do two more dances, judges scores only, and then we get the winner.
Kyle and Lacey open with the foxtrot, which last time around was an ill-advised disco number and this time is lovely and conventional. Kyle is terrific. The video package in which he foxtrots with Len is classic. Len looks good on the dance floor. They get a 27.
Then Bristol and Mark will redo their gorilla jive, and I am so distracted by the shoes she is wearing that I almost forget to watch. The judges swoon. 27.
Jennifer and Derek get the paso doble, which, if you recall, was the low point for Baby this season. This time it is all about control. Derek is much a man-child sometimes I can't stand it. I want to kiss him and rock him to sleep all at the same time. The judges go crazy - another 30! - and little old Joel Grey is beside himself in the audience.
Now for the freestyle. Lacey has thought of every trick in the book. They are doing it to Tootsie Roll, which is course makes perfect sense when you think about it. I'm just saying that. It is, however, ridiculous and hilarious and awesome and they get a 29 and I am smiling.
Mark chooses that Catherine Zeta-Jones number form Chicago. I guess there are no DVD players in Alaska because Bristol has never heard of Chicago, never seen Chicago, has no idea. Hell, even I have seen Chicago. My friend Kathleen and I ate and entire apple pie while watching it in my family room.
Bristol is dancing in a cage and then all over the place and the Carrie Ann says "cage" like 40 times and they give them a 25.
Then Jennifer (let's not forget she had neck surgery/tumor/etc) and Derek do the dirty dancing number form Dirty Dancing (let's not forget that Patrick Swayze died) and it's OK, I definitely think Kyle's is better, but the judges give them another 30.
So the question becomes: How will America's votes add together with tonight's judging scores? Will Bristol win, becoming the person who perhaps needed it the most but deserved it the least? Will Jennifer win, becoming the first woman of a certain age to do so? Or will Kyle take the disco ball, becoming the John O'Hurley of the competition?
I have no idea.
I Tivo'd the show and only saw Jennifer and Derek's freestyle so far. I'm never a big fan of the freestyle routines in general. They try to throw in so many tricks that instead of a nice flowing routine it's kind of a jumbled mess. But the judges always rave. I didn't think Jennifer's deserved a perfect score at all. (I remember when Derek was paired with Brooke, I felt the same way). Anyway. Had expected (hoped?) she would pull out a Dirty Dancing tie-in to grab a big bunch of sentimental votes, but I think I'm kind of over her. I want to like her so much more than I do. Could be the fault of the editors though. I'm sure she didn't whine and cry and stomp off the dance floor every rehearshal. She is beautiful though, and in GREAT shape (did you see her tummy in that last outfit???), and did a great job. I feel bad for Bristol. Don't think she deserves all the hate. I think a lot of what is happening is not her fault. I don't want her to win, but I don't want her to leave feeling like the whole world is gonna shoot out their tvs if she does. That's a lot to put on her. (Although she could have said no when the producer's invited her on to begin with, I guess). And lastly Kyle. Would love it if he took the trophy. Just love him. And Lacey needs a little validation. Len is always picking on her. Those are my thoughts.
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