The Amazing Race 17: Vicki's Terrible, Horrible, Really Bad Day

There have been, in the annals of AR history, some truly terrible men. There was the King of All Bad Guys, Jonathan, who was so abusive to his anorexic wife Victoria that Phil almost had to take him out on a mat. There was Colin, who screamed across a field to his girlfriend that he hated her guts, and then later claimed he was talking to a cow. And there was Freddy, who was a stupid jerk but was out-badded by his dim bulb girlfriend.

And after last night's episode, Nick AKA the male half of The Dumbs, gets to join those ranks.

I mean, Nick has never been a likable guy in this race. In Africa he had several hissy fits. Plus, any guy who criticizes his girlfriend for having an asthma attack probably deserves coal in his stocking on an annual basis. But last night, during the leg in Hong Kong, Nick really proved himself a True Douche Bag.

Our top four find themselves making their way from Bangladesh to Hong Kong, riding buses and ferries as they gather up their clues, and it is right from the start that The Dumbs begin to fall apart. As they are racing for the ferry, Vicki has an asthma attack and cannot run. Hence they miss the boat, and are a half hour behind everyone else. Nick berates her endlessly. He is stupid, but he knows which words to choose, and she cries.

The other three teams are pretty close throughout, and they get to the first challenge, which is really genius. Of course there is karaoke, but there is also boatloads of sushi and awesome fake food. You know those plastic desserts that restaurants use in their display cases? Hong Kong makes those. The challenge is to find the one piece of fake food among all the real food. And if it's real and you've touched it, then you've got to eat it.

So Thomas does it, and one of the Docs, and then the brunette half of the MelonHeads, who really needs to get the Good Sportsmanship Award at this point. So they eat and eat and eat and poke and poke and poke and the Docs are the first done, and then Thomas, and still the Melon is eating. And eating. And eating. And then she pukes. Gallons. But, as Claire points out, she has to soldier on. Claire is really good at getting people to do things they don't want to do. I cannot imagine how many ceramic garden gnomes she has sold on the shopping channel. Because when she tells you to do something, it just makes sense. "Keep puking," she tells her buddy.

Of course, as soon as Brook vomits, she finds the fake food and off they go. Vickie also struggles with this, and vomits, and Nick wants to quit. Vickie refuses, finds the fake food, and they are back in it, but you can see from Nick's body language that he has cashed it in.

Meanwhile, the next challenge is Sampan or Ding Ding. The Firsts choose Ding Ding in which they must spot three signs amid the 1,000,000 on a street. Impossible and they quit. Sampan involves taking two parakeets out into the harbor and finding a boat with a matching number. In the dark. Amidst hundreds of them. Needle, meet haystack.

But it is not insurmountable, and the Docs end up first, the Firsts end up second, and the Melons are third. A far, far, far distant fourth are the Dumbs. She wanted to keep trying he gave up. So they decide to take the 6 hour penalty for not finishing, and when they arrive, Phil tells them that it is a non-elimination round. So, they are hours and hours behind the other teams. Then they have the 6 hour penalty plus the Speed Bump.

I don't like the episodes of AR when the Monster Men rear their ugly heads. This was one of them.