The Amazing Race: Quitters Never, Ever, Ever Win

So we go 5,000 miles from Australia to Japan, and there is the option of a direct flight and the option of one that stops in Hong Kong but arrives 15 minutes earlier. Now, if this was 1968, I'd say, hell, yeah, take the connection. But it's 2011, kids, and when in this day and age does any airplane, anywhere on the planet, ever arrive or leave on time?

And yet, 5 of the teams are dumb enough to opt for the connection. The 15 minutes earlier turns into 90 minutes late, and it's huge for some of the back-in-the-pack teams, like Ron and Christina (Daddy Dearests), who go from last to fourth/third.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, and making reference to the Great Fanny Pack Caper before I've even gotten to the Great Mirror Mashup.

One in Tokyo, the first five teams are the Kentuckys, the Globetrotters, Daddy Dearests, CowBros and the Sistahs. For the Roadblock, one person has to don traditional clothes, make traditional poses, and shoot a traditional arrow from atop a traditional wooden horse. There is so much tradition throughout this episode that I keep waiting for Phil to come out dressed as Tevye the Milkman.

This gig is much harder than it looks, and it takes some teams forever to complete. Meanwhile, the second flight finally arrives, and then while trying to drive out of Tokyo, one of the Poms sideswipes another car and wouldn't you know it, the guy they hit must be gay because he won't just let them get away with it, and insists on calling the Tokyo Po Po. Tick tock ladies.

After the arrow shooting, the Detour options are prayer ritual - which involves freezing cold waterfall water - or frog ritual - which involves freezing cold mud. The Globetrotters and Daddy Dearest take the waterfall and that is when Flight Time accidentally snags the others' fanny pack. But instead of bringing it back to them, they simply leave it in the locker room.

Everyone else goes for the frogs, which involves wearing sheets and having mud hurled at you. It's akin to the needle/haystack thing that Bertram loves so much, and Mike and Mel become the Lena and Kristy of this season, eventually quitting because they could not find the frog and they could not stop shaking. I should point out two things:
1. Lena and Kristy never quit in season 6, and Phil had to go out into the hay field and tell them to stop and 2. Mel did not want to stop, it was Mike who quit. He claimed "it was for dad," but that is bull. Mike is a weenie. Mel is a ninja. A 70-year-old ninja.

So Zev and Justin are first again, and the Globetrotters got bumped from third to fourth because the Daddy Dearests complained (love Phil as Judge and Jury!). The Poms stayed in by the skin of their teeth, and Mike and Mel live to hug another day, just not in the Race. All in all a satisfying episode. Next week, more teams lose their minds.